so i've already come down to the wire on the 48 hours i gave myself to write about...J.B. kindly suggested i write a post a question and that definitely sounds more doable so i'm thinking i'll just start with the clutter in my head and then "pick" a question that sounds like something i could handle writing about. i really could use some analysis on why i need deadlines or external incentives to motivate myself to do things that are important...i wish i had a stronger internal will to make things happen...blogging every day is just too much for me right now. i don't enjoy blogging when i feel that i HAVE to post every day. nor do i like leaving one post for 3 weeks because i don't have anything better to say...
so my new plan for this blog is to make it a reflection of my life...that means crazy and chaotic with several posts in a row and then allowing time in between...i think the only requirement that i will have of myself is that i don't go more than 4 days without blogging because then it is just as easy to allow weeks to go by...i am also going to allow mundane or less "meaningful" posts and not putting assignments on myself...just typing when i have the time and energy and interest...
one friend, elaine, who first inspired me to start a blog replied "when I started it was to provide my children with a look into their mother's life and their own, from the very beginning. I wanted them to know what it was like for me to become their mom and to see what their world looked like when they were wee. I still have that goal in mind. I still always have them in my vision when I blog, even when it has nothing to do with them." and really, even though my early reasons for starting a blog weren't quite as noble (i probably had that idea in the back of my mind, just wish it had been my motivator) i think that is where i'm at now...my blog title sounds so self-absorbed being about MY journey as a mommy but really i needed to figure some things out, figure more of myself out (lots of work to do in that area, too!) and now i feel like i'm more at peace with who i am, where i am and i want this blog to be more about my children and my place in their lives. so i'm going to try to capture more "little things"...
like today sea told me i have a "gooder remembery than" she does...we spent some time planting "seeds" in the garden (something she found that looked like a seed)...she made a little "book" out of several pages of drawings...i believe it was the story of charlotte's web...right now story is playing alone in the train room, singing to himself...sea just set two big chairs side by side, sat down with her "queen hat" on (crown) and said "mom, i need someone to be my king...story, now sit down and be my king"...story is remembering to go potty in the potty about 50% of the time and gets excited about particular underpants like his "gunky" (monkey) ones of the "choo-choo's"...he specifically asks for these by name (sound) in a very determined way i don't remember sea doing though they do have a strong will in common...today sea was telling me a story in the car "here is the story you can tell us...about a kitty named mittens, the boy kitty, and his sister named littens and the mom is mary and the dad is larry...and they love to go to the beach...but their mommy always makes them wear sunscreen...when they don't go to the beach they do crafts and go to the park and play and never come home..." story was filling in the few words he knew while she talked and i just smiled to myself thinking about them telling one another stories someday and especially when they include so many details from their daily life...
right now sea and story are pretending like they are in a kingdom and sea is saying "come on, come on, wake up! let's go jump around but let's fix our bed before we do anything...we can go out in the kingdom and pick flowers and sit on our chairs and wait for people to come and meet us because a king and queen have lots of work to do" and story is saying "up high" and trying to climb the filing cabinet...the one that is like 5 feet tall...now he is nursing standing up while i type and trying to put his crown over my milky so he can nurse through it? they say "truth is stranger than fiction"...
the spinach and cheese ravioli are done...story was helping me cook and also wanted to throw in frozen corn, peas and green beans so i'm going to throw those ingredients together with some tomatoes and avocado and call it a meal...
i've felt so much better getting these little things down...the idea going through my head these past few days of procrastination has been "i wanted to blog but life got in the way" and now i feel like i'm living, observing and blogging...the perfect combo if i can get the balance right...
oh wait, i still haven't answered any of my questions...hopefully this has been tangentially related to them...i will have your replies up by late wednesday night along with my comments...still hope i can give you more before i read yours....
this post was having publishing so we have since eaten, brushed teeth, read worship stories and sea has declared "i'm going to sleep in my bed tonight for the WHOLE night"...despite our delays of extra hugs and kisses and goodnights to story, she got up out of our bed and fell promptly to sleep with little more than a tuck in (our request, not hers) and her "basket of chocolates" beside her...
there were several cute things story said during worship (he "reads" his own Bible while daddy reads a real worship story aloud to sea)...him pointing to adam and eve and saying "mama? dada?" and pointing to fire (daniel and the lion's den) and saying "haw" (hot) and then "mama?" like he is nervous...hugging me tightly...he's learning his colors and was pointing out "meem" "dellow" "blue"...but i'm having trouble commenting on them with mixed emotions about sea trying to sleep in her own room again...like she is trying to grow up and do what we would like her to at the same time...we know we need to let her go so we aren't encouraging her to stay in our bed per se, just not rushing her out, either...i'm off to bed myself...
I think I said early last week that I wanted to talk a little bit more about some art that I photographed, but I still haven't written about it - I have the title saved as a draft, so I don't forget about it.
ReplyDeleteI've said to you before and I think you are seeing it now for yourself - blogging has to be done the way you live. You can force yourself to do it, but when it comes organically that's when it's best and you stay in a healthy blogging place. :)
Respond to the questions when you feel inspired or just make mention of what you have learned.
Be you.
Enjoy your blog.
Don't stress.
Love the process.
Kristin - The Goat