...random experiences, observations and thoughts of my daily life as mommy...past journeys and dreams of journeys yet to be taken creating my life story as i go...


Saturday, August 30, 2008

5 months and crawling


so proud of himself...look at sea's face...
the title of this post should say it all about how my life has changed...remember when i said sea was active in utero and story was even more active? well even though sea did not surprise us when she walked at 9 months, i have to say story crawling at 5 was not something i was prepared for...had hoped for some linear photos but life with a crawling baby and spirited older sister is not linear so these just sort of capture the idea of movement...

he is 6 months old now but went quickly from scooting to completely leg after arm crawling by 5.5 months...he is all over the place now...i'm off to chase him

Saturday, August 23, 2008

photo in front of our new home? presumptuous, i know...

so we are back to the home search...last weekend we were on counter offers on the other house i told you about...then we got a bad taste in our mouths when the sellers "counter" was their asking price plus they threw in other concessions they wanted us to make such as shorter inspection time, etc...so we decided to expand our search...which lead to the photo taken here...

we were driving past another house, just a few blocks from the one we were in counter offers on and there was a man out front washing windows who let us take an early preview before the open house scheduled for the following day...there were so many things we loved! not sure if this was cognitive dissonance kicking in but suddenly we were really rethinking the house we almost got...decided that house was a B house with an A yard and this house i'm about to describe was an A house on a B yard...so as much as i want a garden, pool, patio, sidewalk, fruit trees, grass, etc...we wouldn't have all of these things right away anyway so we have to go with the house we love over the yard...

so what does this home have that house #2 didn't? (i am now going to refer to house #1 as the one we put offers on but lost to a higher bidder; house #2 is the one we almost got but pulled out of and this house i'm describing now is #3)

#1. hardwood floors!!!! in good condition...under the carpet...thru most of the house...i thought i could compromise on this one but really i am SO excited we may get to have hardwood floors. i think it makes the house feel cleaner, are easier to clean, better for allergies, i like how they look and should improve the home value some day

#2. bedrooms all on the same floor and next to each other. when you first walk in to the house, if you turn left, there is a bathroom to your left and storage down the hall to the left (like house #1's layout) and then all 3 bedrooms are along the far left side of the house...sea/story's would be on the street side, guest bedroom in the middle and master bedroom at the end of the hall...which leads to the next thing i like about this house...

#3. sliding doors from the bedroom to the backyard...for aesthetics, cool breezes, sounds at night, light, etc...someday we could put in french doors to increase the value...these face west so the sun sets here...

#4. an extra bedroom/bathroom with separate entrance. great for mom or mother-in-law to live with us someday; or possible rental or cousin ally to live for a couple of years while she goes to school at sdsu across the freeway

#5. amazing view...m thinks we can see all the way to the ocean on a clear day; mainly it will help resell, is peaceful, one less neighbor behind us...the downside to this view is less usable yard than house #2 since most of our property is on the slope...BUT we could still have fruit trees planted there...

#6. open floor plan. we can knock out two partial walls and part of a kitchen wall and be completely open between front room, dining room and kitchen...until we have the money/energy/resources to do that i like the layout as is...

#7. even more windows/light than both houses...the front room (when you first walk in to the house) has a window that pretty much takes up the whole far wall...facing the yard and view...

#8. an extra space between the kitchen and outdoors with sliding doors (again could be upgraded to french doors someday) that could be used as an office space/play area and when the children are older we could have adults in one area and children in another...

so what are the down sides you may ask? (m and i got in to a whole discussion on how i tend to idealize things and in being so optimistic i lose a lot of realism...so yes, i am still looking at this house through rose colored glasses that will probably change if we find another...)

#1. the house needs a lot more work...new roof, we have to pay for termites, carpets have to come up, popcorn on the ceilings, painting, yard work, etc. just off the top...

#2. it will cost more (because of extra bedroom, view and more work)

#3. the biggest downside for me is less usable yard...i'm already reworking it to have the main things i'm looking for

ok...i'm having trouble coming up with many...i'm also tiring of this topic...guess we'll know soon if this house is the "one"...will keep you updated...

one last issue related to this one...i have been thinking about my dad a lot. a LOT...one time when i thought it was unbearable that he wouldn't be here for this huge milestone in our life i heard a train pass nearby and felt like it was his immediate answer that he was there...also, when we showed this house to my mom, there were two love doves in the tree out front who hung out watching us/waiting...and then flew off together as we left...i mentioned to my mom we almost got this house on what would have been their 40th wedding anniversary and these doves were just sort of a symbol of the cycle of life for me...

on a final note. we asked sea several times if she liked house #2 and she was very clear that she did not and did not want to live there. but she has said she likes house #3 although i'm still not sure she is ready to leave our apartment that is her only "home"...

Saturday, August 16, 2008

red rover pet models

ok so i'm exhausted from thinking about buying a "home" so i'm searching for a new topic..

i noticed some of the most recent photos i've taken are from my friend jeremy's visit. he lives in the bay area and owns a pet business "red rover" so i'm thinking i need to take some photos of my children modeling his apparel...


jeremy has red hair, too...


story wearing his sister's bonnet...


sea's 3 favorite friends (marigold, goggin and biraffe)

home

so...no photos of said home to post...just thought i would free associate this process and pros/cons since we are likely to put an offer on a home in the next couple of days.

this weekend we drove by my favorite home in south park (also my favorite neighborhood) and learned that it was in escrow...they were asking 200k more than we hoped to pay for a home so by definition this was a "dream" and not something we should even be driving by twice...oh but allow me to dream for just a quick moment...walking distance to yoga, a coffee shop, deli, several friends in coop, a few blocks from a great park/playground and only a mile away for manuel to commute to work downtown. most of the homes in this neighborhood are much more so in that sense it would be a good investment but really this home didn't have a lot of improvements that needed to be done and we couldn't afford it anyway...so that takes us back to reality...so we were driving through north park on our way to look at some homes in college area...happened to drive by an open house for a 3 bedroom/2 bath spanish style home in an area of north park that i really like...refinished hardwood floors throughout, lots of windows and built-ins, a decent yard, detached garage...again, in a walking neighborhood to several friends, bird park (concerts in the park), shopping, restaurants, etc. was one of my biggest pulls to this area. more diversity, lots of children, good central location near downtown, the beach, balboa park, etc...downsides were only 1 real bath (the second one was a converted closet), not very much storage space, much smaller square footage both in house size and yard than what we last put an offer on, some of the "diversity" was also questionable, not a lot to redo (this being a plus right now but a minus when we want to get more equity out of the house later) and i'm not too impressed with mckinley elementary right down the street...thought we would likely send sea to private school or at least a charter school but walking to a neighborhood public school with several friends living nearby was really growing on me...

so anyway, manuel really liked this house, too, which surprised me since he was ready to rule out north park due to less space for the money. he even talked about being ready to put in an offer...so then we drove into the new area and he wrote down the realtor's number on a house i had ruled out due to "weird yard" "too brady bunch/ugly curb appeal" issues...he said he could get us in to see this house on sunday. we had plans to go to the beach for the day and then celebrate birthdays/our wedding anniversary with friends but decided it was worth checking out.

fast forward to august 3, our fifth wedding anniversary, video camera rolling we entered the home. i didn't have any immediate emotional breakdown like "this is an emergency situation" or breaking in to tears crying like i did for the south park house (built in 1907 but in immaculate condition--craftsman, all hardwood floors, built-ins, etc)… [quick update on the “dream” home…we went inside and were not nearly as impressed…have to give this home a B+ even though it has a lot more character/charm/location etc…]

but somehow this home in the new area felt familiar. Like I used to live in it. Or that I would be looking back on it remembering when we first went in. maybe it is because it is a split level home and looks like the house I grew up in. similar homogeneous neighborhood, too (which has its pros and cons). The yard also reminds me of home…side yard for grass, patio outside of the front room, lots of room for trees and play equipment and a garden (I should mention here the yard is my favorite part of this house…not sure if that is a good thing but it does mean it is the biggest usable lot we have found in central san diego)…

ok so it is several days (couple weeks?) later and I’m just revisiting this topic…so more about what I like about the house in the new area (in no particular order):
∑ It is right around the corner from a highly rated elementary school…so we could literally walk there…the school has a garden, emphasizes music, has art hanging in the windows (ok I imagine many schools have these things so I won’t idealize it too much…)
∑ The huge lot size (11,000?) that is usable…can’t wait to have a garden! And someday a pool! And entertain outdoors…and have the children run around in grass…and ride their trikes on pavement…and water flower beds…
∑ No neighbor to the right and the back neighbor has a large yard with the house set way back behind a lot of landscaping so it feels more private than many locations in central san diego (I expect to get this further east but was surprised to find it here)
∑ Right near the freeway for quick access to the beach, downtown, Coronado, parks, etc. that we go to frequently
∑ Across the freeway from a new charter school I may be interested in (innovative academy?) that would allow me to home school sea a couple of days a week
∑ Nice safe neighborhood we could take walks in and maybe fulfill my ideal of going door to door and meeting my neighbors and having a “community”…also walking distance to a whole foods like market (too expensive for regular shopping I imagine but nice for the occasional splurge)
∑ Lots of windows/sliding doors to the outside…on this note, I specifically like that the bedrooms face east for morning sun and the back of the house faces west for the sunset coming in while we are eating dinner/entertaining…
∑ High ceilings (art deco style home)
∑ Open floor plan (kitchen, dining room, front room and office space all open to each other)
∑ I like that the main “living” area is open and in the center of the house and opens to the yard
∑ Windows all around the dining room with views to the back yard/more light while eating
∑ Nice big kitchen with wood instead of modernized with granite I don’t like
∑ Someday we could add French doors leading out of the bottom bedroom to the yard

Ok I’m ready to list a few of the cons (besides location which I have already addressed):
∑ Only hardwood floors in the main living area (we could add them to the rest of the home but they wouldn’t be the same quality as the ones from older homes)…I still cannot believe I am willing to give this up! This was a “deal breaker” before…I must really love all the other aspects of this home…
∑ Master bedroom isn’t on the same floor as the kid’s rooms…we are all in the same bedroom for now so it is hard to even imagine this one but I hope we don’t look back and wish we had made this a bigger deal! We may end up living in one of the downstairs bedrooms by the kids and eventually make it upstairs to the master? Not sure how we will address this but no signs of either child leaving anytime soon…
∑ Possibly a large tree in back blocks the sunset from coming in (there are renters there now so we can’t check these nuances easily…how can we schedule a viewing at 7 p.m.?)
∑ Ugly side of the home…also like the 70’s style home I grew up in…but I have plans to plant a jacarunda (sp?) tree in the center (to not block too many windows but would remind me of my dad and our home and love the lavender flowers…)

So you can tell that I now really like this house since I am having trouble coming up with cons…I think it is the huge useable lot and lots of light in the home that is selling me the most…

Would love your feedback on any of these points or what do you look for in a home? Enjoy in yours? Wish that you had?

I’m already planting the little morning glory seedlings from sea's coop preschool along “our” fence and mapping out where we will grow the sunflowers…guess we need to have an offer accepted first but for now I can imagine myself living there…

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

thank you

so sea's birthday party is long over and i've had trouble regrouping and getting back in to daily life...one weight on my mind is how many people i haven't thanked! for coming to the party, helping with planning, implementation and the cleanup afterwards, and for the gifts...

we have been spreading the gift opening out; opening one every few days or weeks so this means thank you cards are delayed (they probably would be anyway)...i usually obsess over a cute way to make thank-you's of sea playing with her gift and personalizing this for each gift giver and then never end up printing out the photo...so this year i am toying with doing online thank yous (still individual of course) and including a photo without having to print them. i know miss manners or some person who believes they know the correct way to do these things would definitely not approve but as sea slowly opens gifts this is my hope, goal, challenge. you may still end up with just a basic thank you card sent way too late...until then, may this be a transitional thanks to all for gifts, friendship, time spent together...

sincerely, denise, manuel, sea and story

p.s. this photo of sea was taken when sea was 8 months old...you can see how much redder her hair is so i suppose story's could still lighten

Monday, August 4, 2008

the quest for our home

so...no photos of said home to post...just thought i would free associate this process and pros/cons since we are likely to put an offer on a home in the next couple of days.

this weekend we drove by my favorite home in south park (also my favorite neighborhood) and learned that it was in escrow...they were asking 200k more than we hoped to pay for a home so by definition this was a "dream" and not something we should even be driving by twice...oh but allow me to dream for just a quick moment...walking distance to yoga, a coffee shop, deli, several friends in coop, a few blocks from a great park/playground and only a mile away for manuel to commute to work downtown. most of the homes in this neighborhood are much more so in that sense it would be a good investment but really this home didn't have a lot of improvements that needed to be done and we couldn't afford it anyway...so that takes us back to reality...so we were driving through north park on our way to look at some homes in the college area...happened to drive by an open house for a 3 bedroom/2 bath spanish style home in an area of north park that i really like...refinished hardwood floors throughout, lots of windows and built-ins, a decent yard, detached garage...again, in a walking neighborhood to several friends, bird park (concerts in the park), shopping, restaurants, etc. was one of my biggest pulls to this area. more diversity, lots of children, good central location near downtown, the beach, balboa park, etc...downsides were only 1 real bath (the second one was a converted closet), not very much storage space, much smaller square footage both in house size and yard than what we last put an offer on, some of the "diversity" was also questionable, not a lot to redo (this being a plus right now but a minus when we want to get more equity out of the house later) and i'm not too impressed with mckinley elementary right down the street...thought we would likely send sea to private school or at least a charter school but walking to a neighborhood public school with several friends living nearby was really growing on me...

so anyway, manuel really liked this house, too, which surprised me since he was ready to rule out north park due to less space for the money. he even talked about being ready to put in an offer...so then we drove into a new area and he wrote down the realtor's number on a house i had ruled out due to "weird yard" "too brady bunch/ugly curb appeal" issues...he said he could get us in to see this house on sunday. we had plans to go to the beach for the day and then celebrate birthdays/our wedding anniversary with friends but decided it was worth checking out.

fast forward to yesterday, our fifth wedding anniversary, video camera rolling we entered the home. i didn't have any immediate emotional breakdown like "this is an emergency situation" or breaking in to tears crying like i did for the south park house (built in 1907 but in immaculate condition--craftsman, all hardwood floors, built-ins, etc)

Sunday, August 3, 2008

"a cupcake on top of a cake"



sea is 3 years old and 1 week...and i'm just now getting something down in this blog about her birthday bash at la jolla shores last weekend. i've been stewing over what to write, what to include, what photos are most representative of the day, who to include, what not to say...

on that topic, i had a mini emotional meltdown over how few photos i had of myself with sea but then i realized i was mostly to blame since i was so worried about capturing the day in photos and videos and making sure everyone was having a good time that i didn't allow myself to relax and just be and soak in my daughter and her special moments and just be with her. so on my to do list for next year is once the planning and preparation is over, i have to experience whatever is without trying to control it or make it better in the moment....someone else can run to the car to get matches to light the birthday candle, someone else can take photos, but only i can hold my daughter and soak in the sparkles in her eyes and beaming smile on her face as she is surrounded by so many who love her...

we asked her the day before her party if she would rather have cupcakes (which she is always requesting) or a birthday cake like we had at her friend leo's house and she said "a cupcake on top of a cake" which seems pretty fitting for her personality...always more, bigger, better...

so we went with a tres leches cake that was really good and then a friend made vegan cupcakes (one is pictured on top of this cake) for several vegan friends. overall everyone was very eager to help and even reminding me to just enjoy the day...it was nice to feel a part of a bigger community who cares about us and about sea...

the list maker in me wants to record all the preparations that went in to this day...what didn't make the cut, what we did do, the food, balloons we passed out to visually include all the friends spread out across the lawn and sand, sand pail favors for the kids, beach balls, bubbles...i'm getting anxiety just trying to "capture" the day for the reader let alone for myself. i really need to resolve this conundrum by living more instead of thinking about living...or analyzing how to better live...thanks for helping me be in the moment.

i do have a lot of great photos of many of you readers...e-mail or comment and i'll send them to you since they didn't make it to this blog...next year i'll be sure to get some photos of myself with sea since i'll be spending more time just "being" with her...

of course even though i believe that less is more and want one representative photo of this day, i feel badly you can't see sea's blueberry eyes and bright smile in this first photo...so here are a few more...

hanging out in a cool pink tent with friends...hugging my friend leo (he has the same birthday as me)
gathered with friends around the cakeanticipation of the cake
after singing happy birthdayfinding a match to sing happy birthday again...
ready to blow out my candlemaking a wish...maybe my mommy will be more of my special day next year just by being less...