...random experiences, observations and thoughts of my daily life as mommy...past journeys and dreams of journeys yet to be taken creating my life story as i go...


Thursday, October 28, 2010

MPT #4 2nd grade: the kissing machine

i believe this is my 2nd grade school photo but honestly i don't remember anymore...when i was reflecting back to what i remember of 2nd grade, the first thing that came to mind was that i was given the nickname "the kissing machine" because i used to chase the boys around (and never really kissed them, though apparently i loved to threaten it at this age when they thought girls were gross) but specifically because i pinned robbie perez down in the classroom and gave him a very wet and juicy kiss "with purple yogurt all over my lips"...not sure if that was supposed to be like lipstick...you can imagine how horrified he was and i can still remember the look of shock from the whole class like "you didn't really just do that, did you?!" and just feeling confident and proud of myself despite being misunderstood. i had a crush on robbie since we started school and this continued for much of the grades...i included a close-up class shot from third grade below just so you can see how cute he was...i'm the top left girl (remember i was probably one of the tallest children much of elementary school) and he is the top right boy...
he was one of the most athletic (at least fastest runner) boys in our class and also quite bright...he was one of the people i used to compete with during my "look at me, teacher, i know the answer"-high-hand-raising-waving obnoxious age period (this lasted quite awhile)...i specifically remember debating with him how long a second was...of course we were both wrong because we were trying to show off how fast we could count instead of the actual speed of a second...

but back to the idea of feeling confident and not caring what people thought after that juicy kiss...2nd grade was probably the last childhood year where i strongly believed i was meant for greatness (remember i had older neighbors...two girls about 5 years older than me... who used to build me up and say how smart i was and how brilliant i was going to be when i grew up) and that no one could stop me...i believed in myself and didn't care if i was understood. i was going to try to summarize this idea for the "theme" of second grade which i remember very fondly (i also liked my teacher a lot, mrs. sheldon) but i thought "kissing machine" would stand out more and i suppose on some level it also depicts the wild, care-free "throw-caution-to-the-wind" stance i took to life...considering my first boyfriend was at age 24 (who is also my ONLY boyfriend and now husband), i was quite far from really a "kissing machine" as i grew up...much more on that front later but for now let's focus on how much i enjoyed this year and some of the other positive things i remember about 2nd grade...

i think i've already told you what a "daddy's girl" i was and would continue to be...i regret i got so literal about finding age-appropriate photos for this post that i didn't put any of my dad in...many more of those for later posts...anyway, one thing i remember from a young age though i'm not sure it was 2nd specifically is walking down the halls of "west hall" which was my dad's building on the university where he worked...the walls and carpet were all done in dark reddish wood color and it was noticeably SILENT in there with thick, locked doors on every side...i would walk slowly and quietly (odd behavior for me usually) almost tiptoeing on my way to my dad's office where i always felt so safe and PROUD of him...he was a psychiatric social worker who HELPED people...FIXED them...made them better and in my mind, made the world go round...i believed deeply in him and believed he believed in me and i could do anything...

this was also the year that i became best friends with cara...we were in one another's weddings and crazily enough, she just moved to within a couple miles away here in san diego so our friendship has gone through a lot and gotten stronger in the 30 plus years we have known one another...again, i regret there is not a photo of her here, but there will be many of them since we continued through elementary school until she left in 10th for boarding school...we had many playdates and were inseparable from this age on but for much childhood drama in later years that i'll share in later posts...

i also want to throw in something about writing. i have a very vivid memory from a school open house...of course in my narcissistic mind i believe it was first grade but watching my daughter just learning to sound out words in kindergarten, it was probably several grades later...anyway, the memory is that the teacher asked us to write a story for our parents on that light tan paper with huge lines and a dashed line in the middle (where you practiced handwriting) and my memory isn't even about the content of my story so much as the fact that it went on and on much like my free associating writing style now...so much so that it was taped up higher on the wall than all the other stories and they were laminated so mine continued in a roll down onto the ground so you had to roll it out and step on it to read the whole thing...that makes me laugh because it was so ME and so dramatic and verbal and like i had so much to say i couldn't stop....

i also have fond memories of reading a lot at this age (mostly my parents would read to me but i was learning how to read)...this passion continued throughout all of our lives...i named my child "story" if that tells you anything...

i'm already enjoying having less photos...in part because there really are less photos of me from the grades but also because it forces me to think of actual memories instead of using photos to jog memories or direct where my thoughts will go...this one was in my previous post but i never went back to share any of the yosemite stories...the two i wanted to share (i believe i was 6 or 7 so that would have been 1st or 2nd grade) will follow after the photo...
1) i remember packing a watermelon in our car and driving a LONG time in HOT weather on lots of WINDY roads to get there...the watermelon was making gassy sounds and when we arrived that night my dad declared the heat had been too much for it and it was rotten. so he threw it in the garbage can next to our cabin. early in the morning we woke up to the metal cans being knocked around and into one another and there was a BEAR trying to eat the watermelon...crazy part of the story is that we all marched outside like he would be more interested in that than us and fortunately he was...the way my dad would tell this story (remember we named our son story in part because my dad love to tell tales) the bear became more or less intoxicated on the rotten watermelon and was swaying and falling down a lot...funny visual in my head though i remember the drama of my dad's version and getting people to laugh more than the actual experience...son just woke up...more later...ok i'm back the next day...
2) i remember staying in an a-frame cabin complete with all sorts of bright 70's decor...long red shag carpet going up the stairs to the loft...we would feed wild deer in the morning and touch their velvety antlers...cook and eat together with some friends who traveled with our family...i loved these times...they were actually quite adventurous for my family...we are thinking of buying an rv to have similar adventures with our children...next we have my sister and i dressing up with our dog snowflake (more stories about him will come in future posts)...
a photo of my mom with my sister and me...i wanted to add that i started taking piano lessons about this time. my mom is a very talented pianist but she was painfully shy so even though she performed a lot as a child she couldn't go as far as she would have if she hadn't been doubled over with stomach aches and fear...this led to her hoping my sister and i would live out her musical dreams and we ended up hating playing/practicing the piano even though we took lessons most of our childhood years...i still have very little to show for it and would love to take piano as an adult where i would do it because i want to and not because i had to or was trying to fulfill something for my mom (more on this issue in future posts, too)...

nearly every summer we would go to the east coast to visit my dad's relatives who mostly live in virginia and maryland...here, from left to right TOP ROW: my dad's BIL bill, his sister nancy, his nephew wayne, his mom in bright yellow, his sister amanda, his dad in light yellow, his nephew fred, his sister margaret ann, his BIL fred, my dad and then my mom looking down

i'm in the middle standing, also in light yellow...holding on to my favorite cousin jay (he was 8 years older than me and i had quite the crush on him)...my sister marci is looking up at us...aunt elizabeth and cousin hollie looking up at my mom...my dad was very much from the south...he kept his accent most of his life and had "virginia is for lovers" shirts and said he'd always be a virginian at heart...there are many influences from the south on my life that i'll touch on through these posts...
i'll leave you with one of my sister and me after going trick-or-treating (my dad says pretty much by the time i was talking i said "daddy, do you have to go with me? i want to go alone" which makes me so sad to think about!)
i hope to keep up this childhood innocence, freedom, love of life, care-free, naive, child-like play-based perspective on life in myself and my own children for as long as i can!

this post is the 4th in a series of 15 posts recording my childhood through MPT "mommy's piggy tales".

Friday, October 22, 2010

MPT #3 1st grade: embracing independence

ahh...procrastination...can be my motivator but when i have two children having meltdowns and not napping, i really need to take on this blast to the past project several days before it is "due"...here is my 1st grade school picture...again, naturally stick straight hair curled to my mother's liking, she sewed my raggedy ann dress...here is my daughter's kindergarten school photo from this year:
i came across many more preschool photos when visiting my mom's house so forgive my indulgence as i throw in a few more memories from those years (kind of cheating or evidence of my lack of organization/planning)...this photo was taken when i was a flower girl in a cousin's wedding. apparently i was being very difficult the day of so someone offered me a very large gumball if i'd cooperate and go down the aisle...i guess i then blew huge gum bubbles the whole way (though i do appear to be concentrating on my flower dropping task in the photo)...
here is the advertisement i mentioned in the last MPT "mommy's pigtails" post
i know this photo of my hands and feet is taking us even pre-preschool, but i included them because i've always had really LONG skinny feet...they've had lots of nicknames over the years and i've been self-conscious of them but finally i've reached a point where that is the size foot a 6 foot tall person should have even if it is hard to find a woman's size 11 shoe in normal styles...
here is another photo of my mom's dad with myself (left) and my sister (right)...
here is one of me, my mom's mom, my mom and my sister...i like the smirk on both of the adults' faces...
and one more of me cuddling up to my mom...i find this photo noteworthy because i became so independent soon after this age...
this was my sister's 3rd birthday (i was 6)...i can see my missing front tooth which was prominent in several other photos from this age...
here i am with my siamese cat "piewackit" my mom got the name from some movie and i have no idea how to spell it...i always thought it was weird...
here are some of our play chairs made into a bed...i believe my grandma made the bed cover...bright green shag carpet...lots of 70's going on here...
my sister and i liked to build and create together in these pre-school years...
here is the swingset in our backyard...me hugging my sister at the top...i believe these were children from the preschool she had in her home...
and here are yet more children from said preschool...i'm the 5th one and my sister is to my left...
here is a jungle gym of sorts in our side yard...
sometimes my sister and i would sleep together...
we also went peach picking as a family once a year and then canned and froze them...
i think i'm only a year or so old in this photo but i included it so you could see our classic orange station wagon...the back window even rolled down and you could ride backwards in the way back...
we also went on an annual quest for wild flowers...here i am with my dad (with his redskins hat) and sister in a field of wild poppies (california's state flower if you didn't know)...
i remember the year before i started school we took a trip to yosemite...once i get the children to sleep i'll include a couple stories from that trip...
and since halloween is almost here i thought i'd include this photo...also stories from trick-or-treating if i have time...
this is a photo of my daughter sea with her special little tiger "goggin"...i noticed in the next photo i was holding a white tiger for a photo, too, though i don't remember playing with it...
my mom really worked with the curling iron and feathering for these shots...also noteworthy are all the missing teeth and permanent top teeth coming in...
this photo of my daughter was taken last month when she lost her first tooth...she had just turned 5 so we both lost teeth early...
i always slept in crazy positions....here are those sponge rollers i was telling you about...
and finally, the end result of said rollers for my curly hair for my first day of 1st grade...

so i have a lot to write about...as if i didn't already have too many photos...but i don't have a very good organization...i mentioned during my preschool years post that i didn't attend kindergarten so this was my first year in school...i honestly don't remember the first day that well but it is because i more or less walked out of my parent's home and never looked back (figuratively and literally)...i embraced independence as i chose for the theme for this year...ready to be on my own...i may have actually been TOO independent at this age which is a theme that will run through later posts...

i attended a 12 year christian private school (all 12 years i might add) and just recently co-chaired the reunion planning committee for our 20 year high school reunion (more on that in later posts)...my teacher was mrs. krominga (no idea how to spell her name...it sounded a little bit like captain kangaroo, a show i liked from about that era...there were about 30 students in my class and there were 2 other first grade classes...the school was about 5 minutes from our home and my dad usually drove us to school. he worked right down the street at the university...this school was very influenced by both the predominant religion of the little community and the medical center/dental school/professional and those ideas will run through later posts as well...for now, my early memories of first grade include LOVING gymnastics (which i was in most of the time i was in school despite my height and awkwardness), being very social/verbal/competitive in school "i know the answer!" sort of obnoxious student...i remember competing with a boy i had a crush on...more on him in my 2nd grade post...

i remember this year as being quite carefree...i enjoyed school, extracurricular activities, friends, my place in the world and embraced my independence...

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

apples orchard, pumpkin patch and cupcakes

this weekend i celebrated my mom's 70th birthday...we went with her and my sister and my two children to oak glen...apple orchards...fall leaves...

then hit a pumpkin patch on the way back to her home...







the next morning we went out to brunch...here is story checking out the cupcakes...
tomorrow i continue my journey recording my childhood...1st grade...this is really where my memories begin so it will be hard to choose...i have a few photos but don't feel like i have enough...or even an idea where i'm headed let alone where i came from...THAT should be one of my themes of this journey...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

MPT #2 preschool years: can't get enough attention

i thought this first "piggy tailed" photo would be appropriate for the second installment of "mommy's piggy tales" recording my childhood...i also have this photo as my thumbnail in various places...i suppose i still feel a child at heart...so i have a bunch of disclaimers i'll leave off as i'm not sure they explain much or enhance what i'm trying to say...in fact, i'm not sure what i'm trying to say at all which makes it difficult to weave my theme through these 15 childhood tales...so instead i just found the photos i have on my hard drive (most childhood photos are at my mom's house) from my preschool years and i figure i'll weave a story through explaining them...the fact that i had these photos scanned for our wedding reception slide show indicates they had some meaning for me...i'm not sure how old i am here eating whip cream at my neighbor's house...i've always had a sweet tooth...one thing i wish i hadn't passed on to my children...
i've also always been very verbal and loud and talkative...i guess i was one of the first to talk in sabbath school (and one of the first to walk...sea, my daughter walked at 9 months and 1 week old)...i remember from a very young age saying "look at me! let me just show you one more thing! watch!" etc...i could never get enough attention and always had more to share or show or do...i remember trying to get the attention of all the adults whenever my parents had people over "i can play that game, let me try" etc...
this next photo was taken with my neighbor ginky...this was a real live lion though i'm told he was probably sedated to allow this photo...still kind of crazy...i like to take risks so this photo seemed appropriate to show that side of me...my son is not as occupied as i wanted him to be while i try to record this so i can't go into all the stories of time spent with my neighbors...kristin was 5 years older than me and doted over me from the moment i was born...she told me recently that she used to build a block tower for me every day and then wait for me to wake up from my nap so i could knock it over. that story brings tears to my eyes just knowing i got that kind of adoring attention (my daughter is 5 right now so i can imagine her with a newborn). she continued to foster my development, play with me, spark my imagination, build me up, tell me how brilliant i was, etc. as i grew up...i believed her and attribute a lot of my self-confidence to these early years with her...i regret i don't have photos of us together...
here i am struck by my prominent bangs (my mom has been lobbying for me to cut bangs on my daughter) and my CURLS! i notice this because my hair is naturally stick straight but my mom was so obsessed with curls she would curl my hair with a curling iron or, put my hair in pink sponge rollers when i went to bed at night...i still like my STRAIGHT hair to this day probably because she pushed this so much...
this photo was taken by a professional photographer in my parent's home town and he liked the photo so much he used it in some printed ads for his studio...actually i'm looking at it again and this may not be the photo i was thinking of, but it reminded me of that idea...i can see the purple jacarunda tree in our front yard in the background...there are many of these blooming in san diego and for some reason they remind me of my dad...we spent a lot of time together in that side yard, under those blossoms...photos in front of the tree...i want to plant one at our house to be a constant reminder of those years and of him (he passed away 4 years ago if you didn't know)...
this is the photo i accidentally deleted in my last post of my mom with her fancy hair and my dad...sitting in front of our fire place...
this is a photo of my dad's dad who i called "granddaddy" (also what my daughter sea called my dad before he passed away), my grandma meme and me holding my dad's hand...i love all the 70's polyester prints...
this is my neighbor "ginky" again with my newborn sister marci. i am just over 3 years older than her. this is a noteworthy photo because apparently my parent's camera broke when she was born and they were unable (or unwilling) to borrow one or have anyone take any newborn photos so this must have been my neighbor's camera...
this photo is of my mom's dad "papa", me, my sister marci on my mom's mom "mimi"'s lap next to my mom with her extra high hair...this was taken at our dining room table...my mom recently told me a story of my papa giving me a bag of 50 cent pieces for christmas and how thrilled i was to have money, count it, play with it...i regret he died before i turned 10 and i didn't get to know him better...he also liked to write and i may dig up some of his stories to share at some point in this childhood recording journey...
i love this photo of our family...you can tell how much i adore my dad (that will probably be another ongoing theme how i was a "daddy's girl" and my sister and my mom paired off)...this photo was taken in our side yard...
this i believe was taken at my sister's 1st birthday...
nothing in particular i wanted to say about this photo except i like how we are both happily sitting together, 70's decorations, pigtails...my sister looked up to me at this age and i was probably as mean to her as sea is to her little brother...that would get better with age...
my mom looks like a quaker or something in this photo...she sometimes dressed my sister and i alike...i don't know if i have mentioned yet that my mom's dad was a traveling sales man who switched jobs and moved the family across the country every 6 months or so...my mom really wanted to build a house and "root it to the ground" and never move...she still lives in the house i was born in...this photo was taken in front of our house before any houses were built across the street...
here is another matching outfits photo...my mom sewed these dresses...
and here is a fairly recent shot of my daughter sea wearing the same dress...

one more xmas shot...i like our barrettes...
here is a photo from my 5th birthday...my daughter sea just turned 5 so this is coming full circle for me...
finally, i figure my mom was exhausted watching us at this age so this seemed like an appropriate end photo...
while we are on the topic of sleep, i just wanted to mention that we still co-sleep with my 5 and 2.5-year-old...by OUR choice...i think the oldest is almost ready to be on her own...but i sometimes wonder how my relationship would have been with my parents if they had co-slept with me. i ask this because apparently soon after i was able to walk, every night after my mom tucked me in bed, shortly after i would sleep walk out into the hallway between my bedroom and theirs and sit down with my legs crossed in a pretzel and then lie my head down on my feet and SLEEP like that until my mom came and put me back in bed. (i'm still really limber in yoga moves from these early stretches!) i also slept walked and talked a lot.

i have so many more stories from this age but they all sort of blur together instead of forming a theme or outline building up to who i am today...i suppose some of the basic info i'll share (without supporting photos) is that i lived in the same house in southern california for 18 years before leaving for college. we lived on a hill with a gully behind our house and i spent many, many years exploring trees/bushes, digging trails, hiking, and enjoying the outdoors. i had several neighbor friends who were all older than me who i looked up to and learned from...they were all creative yet a little depressive themselves and i feel they were big influences on me...i was always seeking their attention and approval and they were usually happy to give it to me (i figure at their age their peers were not showering them with as much attention).

one specific activity i remember enjoying was riding down the hill we lived on in a red radio flyer wagon. i would sit in front and my sister and our friend sat behind me, legs wrapped around my body. i would use the handle and turn it left or right to steer the wagon and we would run over stink bugs as we flew down. this is particularly scary to recall as there was a blind curve in the road and cars could have come up and hit us...

the last thing i guess i'll mention from this age is that my mom ran a preschool out of our home for a few years before i started school. so i not only had her as a stay-at-home mom, but a lot of early socialization from other preschoolers. i believe there were 8 students and she had big round tables and little chairs, a chalkboard, and lots of art and school decorations from her years teaching 1st grade. i didn't go to kindergarten (just attended this preschool another year before starting first grade) so my school experience memories won't start until my next post.

i had hoped to pull the "can't get enough attention" theme back through...in my free associations with these photos, that was the idea that came to my mind...that was true for much of my life, but especially in those early formative years.

i'm visiting my mom this weekend and hope to dig up more photos and uncover more memories for future recordings. i am enjoying the journey and glad to be doing it with a group!