connecting the dots

sea is working on a connect-the-dot book she got as a late bday present...it is a "get ready for school" gift which i normally steered clear of, preferring free play and imagination instead of anything "academic" but, well, school is more or less here and that is where her head is and she is very excited to be doing it...i wanted to take a photo of said dots and her connecting them but that requires finding my camera, taking the shot, uploading the shot, etc. more energy than i have since i've been waking up in the wee 3, 4, 5 o'clock hours with anxiety...sea is DEFINITELY more ready for school than i am...i had all these flash backs to not fitting in, feeling left out, alone, misunderstood...i need to get in touch with these things before i expect them for sea and taint what seems to be a pretty well adjusted entrance into the idea of school...

"mommy, come look at my bug!" she is calling...story is napping...i planned to be cleaning...

she wants to go try and pass the swim test tonight at our community pool...her favorite lifeguard (and possibly first crush?) danny is working so it seems an appropriate time, right before school starts...

"moMMY...come potty with me...i need to do a really big poo poo..." ok, TMI...so maybe i'll leave this post up on my screen and work to complete what should be done, what i want to do (spend every last second absorbing all that sea is into in these last days before school) and a little blogging about it in between...

"moMMY come here, i did the car already...almost...i said in a minute i'm going to be done...mommy...come here..."

"why did leo give this to me, i already know how to do my letters...mommy, please help..."

so back to my philosophizing on what i'm trying to do here...in life...balance what must get done (the practical) with what matters (the meaning) with the every day details (the mundane)...i'm watching sea trace her letters, literally connecting the dots...thinking about how i try so hard to make all the pieces fit together and make sense and sometimes they are just details and somethings they are ALL that matters in that moment...living in the here versus living in the future or the past...showing sea how where her focus should be or better yet that SHE is my focus even as i try to document all this...

my obsessive side is wishing i literally had a photo of her connecting dots...like looking at those dots on this post would help it make more sense or be more perfect or complete...but that would not be life...so i'm going to be ok with this partial post the way i am ok with her rushing through her letters, skipping some, moving on to other things...

she is now showing me her "letters" and trying to copy them (she learned them on her own...writing letters that were in her head instead of looking at something)...this is proving more difficult for her trying to copy them and i'm torn about how i feel about that..

"look!"

story just woke up...cranky...always the conundrum between 4 and 5 whether i should nurse him back to sleep for another cycle or not (which means he'll be up late)...of course i didn't even get the first sink washed in the first bathroom...so i'm off to find something to engage the children with...something they can do together...enjoy their time together...which means i'll probably cave and do starfall and let them "read" to one another...

just remembered a cute song sea probably learned from there "A..ah...aligator...B...Buh...ball...C..cuh...computer" where she sings the name of the letter, it's sound and something that begins with that letter...complete with actions like her typing on a computer...

sea is now tracing shapes and story is saying "MEEM" that he wants a green one...he always draws kitties...now he is singing "naneenaneena neeeee..." teasing his sister he has something she wants...hitting...i better go parent...

at some point before or after this sea was playing "mary had a little lamb" on the piano...we definitely hope to fit piano lessons in though our music teacher friend suggests we wait until she is 6 and can commit to the lessons...

right now sea is "teaching" story by reading his little picture books to him and he is putting up matching animal felts on a felt board for the story "brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?"...at one point we were going to make an entire wall in sea's room out of felt because she loved felts so much...

i found myself calling story (sometimes i call him "sonny" like "sunny") but just now i said "2-8-2?" because he likes to count and says those numbers in that order...

now they are back to doing crafts...i told sea we need to finish picking up so we can go to the pool and see if she is can pass the swim test and she said "what do you mean mom, i'm GOING to pass the swim test..."

i'm off to find the smallest swimsuits i can squeeze them into (hard to let go of so much)...