school struggles

 these photos were taken last year...2nd week of kindergarten...here we are on the 3rd or so week of 1st grade and sea is having a really hard time "i HATE school mommy!" "why do i have to go?" "why can't i stay home like story?" "he gets to be with you all day and all night long..." "why can't i homeschool?" i didn't have great responses to these inquiries...i wanted to just hug her extra tightly and cover her in kisses but of course we were running late and again i made smothering her with zinc sunscreen all over her pale face more important...she was pleading with me..."mom please pinky promise you'll come at snack time...or recess...or lunch..."

 i tried to tell her we are sharing a car and i can't walk "you can be late...or just come for a few minutes..." she was negotiating, analyzing, trying to figure out a way to make it work...i wanted it to be simple like "i can't come the first month because it is too hard on you" but i believe her teacher is alright with parents coming in so i have to come up with something better...this morning sea was up at 5 ready for "lots of mommy and sea time"...of course much of that time was spent watching richard scarry and clifford videos while i was trying to wake up...it was cloudy, gray, foggy, gloomy...to match both of our moods...

 i'm getting ready to go pick her up from school now...walking over there with story in the double stroller and then headed together to the store where we will inevitably get snacky treats for them to munch on coming home...i wish i had some resolution...answers...direction...this breaks my heart...