...random experiences, observations and thoughts of my daily life as mommy...past journeys and dreams of journeys yet to be taken creating my life story as i go...


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

taking my own parenting advice

i've never had as much anxiety in my life as i've had being a parent (ok, maybe when i was pregnant, worried about being a parent...)...especially having the privilege and responsibility associated with being a stay-at-home mom...i've gone through periods of wishing i could do more for my children and then, on days when we are rushing to get out the door to some new adventure and my daughter says "mommy? can we just stay home today?" realizing i'm probably trying to do too much...or less is more...i definitely believe that in so many areas...i just need to listen and act on that belief...
there was a long period before i became a part of the co-op preschool that i was really stressing about where to send sea for preschool...i wanted her in montessori or waldorf and couldn't afford either without going back to work...at which point my husband reminded me how lucky i am that i not only don't have to work but more importantly GET to stay home with the children for these few years before they are off and running in their own lives more and more outside of ours...i feel like our children have become so much closer to one another getting to spend every hour together, entertain themselves, entertain me, make friends, go on walks, help me cook, play in the garden, playhouse, blocks, puzzles, art, oh wait...this sounds like a lot of what i was hoping for in those preschools only WITH ME...i really can lose sight of my highest priorities sometimes...
the next few photos are mostly of sea so i wanted to throw a couple in of manuel and story from last night after his bath...he loves making a loud elephant noise whenever he sees one or wears this towel...
so this next series is from today...a simple day...woke up a little early around 7:30 but not too sluggish and fighting a few more winks (rare for me, not a morning person!)...made manuel coffee (iced with cocoa and milk), lunch (beans, rice and green beans...he is a much simpler eater than me) and wrapped up a couple pancakes i had made yesterday with sea...then i put our itunes "classical" music on random and tried to figure out our day...sea didn't wait for me...she grabbed paper out of the printer and started drawing...
these are two fairy cats...much more elaborate than her original drawings of fairy cats...there is even a flower on one's dress...i think that is the first time she has decorated their clothes...
next she drew a "furry" cat...with a hat...
and then she was pointing to a "male bird" and just as i was wondering why she didn't call it a boy bird, she pointed out how the bird was delivering mail to the other birds...
she looked up to show off her work...
next she drew the big bad wolf (with cute hat) "blowing wind" on the little pigs...
i decided we should get out of the house and get some sun and stretching on a walk since another storm was coming in and we would be indoors for the next 3 days or so...here is sea showing me some stretches i should try...
she stopped to climb our tree...and pick a leaf...
ran off ahead of me (the reason i usually entice her in the double stroller with some sort of sweet treat)...
i don't know if you can see that rain cloud with rain drops coming out of it on the back of her sweater but i thought it would be a cool shot to get a close-up of that with her looking over her shoulder and then actual rain cloud and drops in the distance...i only got her really but that is enough...

i just realized i got to the end of this post and never wrote what my "own parenting advice" was...what i was going to write about before i got distracted by all these photos was that i've been hosting a lot of baby showers since having children and inevitably i am either asked for advice or solicit advice from those attending the shower as interesting reading for the pregnant mom...usually my advice in situations like that is something like this:

"1) relax and enjoy every stage...they go too fast and i wish i hadn't spent so much time worrying about what to do differently, looking forward to the future, regretting the past...just BE in every moment...

2) take lots of photos but again, "be" in the moment and miss a few shots

3) don't listen to too much advice...i read a lot of parenting books, asked way too many questions but the best thing for me was when my pediatrician said "i can tell that you parent with your heart"...only you know what is best for you and your child and this may change with the circumstances so just believe in yourself and your intuition/heart/gut feeling..."

so i'll leave you with sea looking back but here's to hoping we can live more in the present...

6 comments:

  1. I think you are a fantastic parent and I thank you for sharing your wisdom. Your kids are SO loved, and so happy! I wish I could visit you and hang tea (organic of course!) and walk on the beach while our kids frolicked in the sand!! Someday, I am coming to see yoU!

    God bless
    Amanda

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  2. Wow, good artist!! I think it's great you get to stay home too. Somedays I think maybe I would like to get out a little but then I realize that before long they won't want or need me around and I need to soak up every second I can right now!

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  3. i like the idea of living in the moment and missing a few photos. there are times that i forget my camera and then i want to kick myself. but you are right. it's WAY more important to BE present for our kids than to take pictures to remember every cool thing that happened.
    i LOVE your pictures. theya re so pretty!

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  4. Wow she is a great little artist!! I worry about the same things, it is so hard to just sit back and enjoy, you always want to be doing more and wonder if it is ever enough. When you see your little ones happy and enjoying the things you do it definitely helps you realize you are on the right track!!

    Thank you for your kind comments, I am so glad that we "met" through the card swap :0)

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  5. yes. to slow down. that is my daily goal, and one i seem to keep forgetting.
    i love how sea stretches her mouth while she's stretching her body!

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  6. You may want to consider homeschooling! You've already researched educational styles, and clearly love being with your children. I think that, as we look toward "losing them" to their school years, we rush through their preschool years trying to "fit it all in." By keeping it all the family, you get to extend your time with them, their time with each other, and their educational opportunities. Really...they'll get PLENTY of socialization, and the opportunities a caring, active parent can provide often outshines a teacher who is pressured by standardized test requirements, 30:1 ratios on average, in addition to their own life challenges.

    Think about it: who loves your children more than you do? Who knows their needs more than you do? Who understands them more than you do? And how can you beat the 2:1 ratio!? ;)

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