...random experiences, observations and thoughts of my daily life as mommy...past journeys and dreams of journeys yet to be taken creating my life story as i go...

Friday, February 3, 2012

judgments of (and by) a SAHM and raising spirited children

it has been nearly a month since i've posted. many reasons for this...one of the reasons i've put off writing is because it has been so long i feel i need a good reintroduction or something important to write about or a summary of what i've done while i was away from this blog or a complete overhaul of my issues i have, etc. etc. disclaimers i often have when something is important. but writing for writing sake is important to me, too and i've had this story or frustration or embarrassment hanging over me for almost 24 hours and even though i'm supposed to stop writing in four minutes to get sea ready for school (i didn't hit snooze this morning...i shut my alarm off because it felt like i hadn't even gone to bed yet) i felt compelled to see if my blog was even here anymore :) i'm not even joking...i'm paranoid enough to sense this non-backed up blog could just vanish any day...i can tell this post is going to be all over the place...I am all over the place so i suppose that is fitting...

anyway, what happened yesterday is one of the head office workers at my daughter's school pulled me aside to talk to me about my out of control 3-year-old and how they can't be responsible for him on campus and he is disruptive, etc. judgments about my lack of control over him/poor parenting etc. and i immediately felt defensive and embarrassed all the while knowing parts of what she was saying were true...but i'm a BIG PICTURE person who believes you can't judge people unless you have the full context of any given situation, know them from the inside (live their life), etc. plus i do SO MUCH for that school that i feel they should overlook some of these things...

that is the nutshell version of what happened and as i type it i feel like i'm already past it and ready to contain him better (actually going to have him attached to my body in an ergo wrap as often as possible until this blows over) but what i suppose i'm not past is how quickly i became judgmental of this woman and the school and my judgers and made all sorts of assumptions about how their children have been in child care since they were a couple months old and so with someone else raising their children they have time to notice the troubles of others...these same people are not doing half the things i am to help the school but yet i'm the one being criticized...maybe it is a good thing as i need to say no to more and now i'm being told i can't bring him so therefore i can't help as much? i'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this scenario and how i will react and what that means for my involvement at the school...which is a big issue because i have been really involved as of late...and now i'm running late to get sea to school which means i'll be short on time to contain story in said wrap so more later...


  1. Nicely written, neatly "wrapped"...Story is awesome...and I understand about volunteer work, being a SAHM...we do it for the betterment of our 1st graders...our children. I'm frazzled too by what happened to you.

  2. Hmmm...I can see why you would feel upset about what was said to you...but on the other side of it, I can see why having a disruptive child around could be upsetting to others. I don't think it's a SAHM vs working mom thing, though I can see how it might feel that way. I also think it's highly possible that it less about judgement than talking about the reality of the situation. It might easily *feel* like judgement but if Story isn't being supervised and gets hurt, breaks something, or hurts someone else, then the school is held responsible.

    So maybe look at it this way--yes, you help a *lot* but if your younger child is being disruptive of the flow of the day at school, then your help isn't as useful as it could be. It's a bummer but maybe you can't help quite as much *right now*

  3. Thanks tanya and lorien...you are right, I have over-extended myself for sure which has led to me not being as "on" as I'd like to be...story is usually just a few paces out of my reach but it can seem he is not being attended to...I appreciate your honest advice and support :)


leave me comments here