...random experiences, observations and thoughts of my daily life as mommy...past journeys and dreams of journeys yet to be taken creating my life story as i go...


Saturday, February 16, 2008

last moments with baby inside


my talented friend karen took this photo of me today...i was trying to see if i could tell if the baby had dropped in the week since i took the last photo in the previous post...

mainly i was struck by how sad i am to almost have the baby out...i know that will be a new journey and i will love the baby and grow to love him or her more as time passes but there is something about the bond of having the baby inside where i can literally hold him or her whenever i want and feel his or her movements in response...

i know with a post title like "last moments" i will most likely be overdue with this baby so i may have a little more time...my mom gets on a plane friday for her 50th high school reunion in portland so i figured with murphey's law that will be when the little one makes his/her appearance...

it is interesting how different family members have responded to when this baby may arrive...of course short of an induction i can't actually make any predictions but so far i've been grateful that despite some pressures that a weekend or a particular day would be better than another, everyone seems to be on board with me "letting nature take its course" whatever and whenever that means...

i have vowed to stop talking about all my "labor signs" and not to make predictions or even update anyone until i am in "active labor"...of course i'm not sure what that means or what criteria i will use to stay home as long as possible. i was going to use my pain level but i'm not sure how quickly the baby may come...i still want to err on being home too long instead of stuck at a hospital where they want to move things along...

well, i have little to say...i'm packed, i've had some birthing from within sessions, i feel psychologically ready, have had a lot of great supportive conversations with friends, and at this point i feel like instead of preparing for the baby to come i could be working on the many unfinished projects i'd hoped to complete before the baby came...unfortunately i think i am past the "nesting" phase so i guess i'll concentrate on resting instead...

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