i really love this portrait of myself with baby story (1 day old) and his excited sister (here, 2.5-years-old)...i asked manuel to take it as he was rushing out of the room to get the car...when sea was born i passed her around to each family member and got wonderful photos of each of them cuddling up to her and then got home and in my crazy post-pregnancy hormonal state had a total break down when i realized there was like one photo of me with her...i swore i wouldn't let that happen with story...fortunately i was a little more selfish in snuggle time with him in those early hours so i don't have complaints about him being passed...(you can't tell in this photo as i'm trying to balance sea who wanted to climb up in my lap and story was asleep there already...) although there are still very few photos of me with him and now i have regrets there are no photos of manuel, myself, sea and story all together as a family of four...i have way too many regrets in life and maybe especially as of late...i'm trying to work on that...especially when a high school classmate just LOST his wife...so i'm out visiting my mom and these are a few photos i brought for my sister...early days with story...this first one is of my sister admiring story...
i think story looks a little like my dad here but of course there are no photo of my dad holding him :(
sea looks very serious here and actually a little upset...
i'm visiting my mom for her birthday...
one of the reasons i chose this topic to blog about and late at night at that...is that i had cute photos of story as a baby on my sister's computer...but also because story was really gassy and woke up several times between the time he went to bed and now (too much garlic, onions, spices in the p.f. changs food?) and it got me thinking about how he is almost out of that baby phase and i'm going to miss so many things...yes, even burping him...but maybe not enough to have a third child? i'm getting older...not enough energy...time, hands, emotional strength, i know, if i had a third i would find those things and be so BLESSED so i'm not judging people with more children...just conflicted but also settling in to the idea that my baby is no longer a baby and on his way to becoming a 2-year-old toddler...tonight i was quizzing him on different animal sounds and he happily quacked, meowed, roared (like a dragon), made his own version of an elephant...ding donged, choo chooed, i'm sure i'm forgetting a couple others...it is going too fast...i have pregnant friends and want to be there somehow, too...but for now i really want to enjoy each age and phase as it is without reminiscing too much in the past or hoping for the future or focusing on regrets or what ifs...i really want to stop feeling so sorry for myself...
i really love this portrait of myself with baby story (1 day old) and his excited sister (here, 2.5-years-old)...i asked manuel to take it as he was rushing out of the room to get the car...when sea was born i passed her around to each family member and got wonderful photos of each of them cuddling up to her and then got home and in my crazy post-pregnancy hormonal state had a total break down when i realized there was like one photo of me with her...i swore i wouldn't let that happen with story...fortunately i was a little more selfish in snuggle time with him in those early hours so i don't have complaints about him being passed...(you can't tell in this photo as i'm trying to balance sea who wanted to climb up in my lap and story was asleep there already...) although there are still very few photos of me with him and now i have regrets there are no photos of manuel, myself, sea and story all together as a family of four...i have way too many regrets in life and maybe especially as of late...i'm trying to work on that...especially when a high school classmate just LOST his wife...so i'm out visiting my mom and these are a few photos i brought for my sister...early days with story...this first one is of my sister admiring story...
i think story looks a little like my dad here but of course there are no photo of my dad holding him :(
sea looks very serious here and actually a little upset...
i'm visiting my mom for her birthday...
one of the reasons i chose this topic to blog about and late at night at that...is that i had cute photos of story as a baby on my sister's computer...but also because story was really gassy and woke up several times between the time he went to bed and now (too much garlic, onions, spices in the p.f. changs food?) and it got me thinking about how he is almost out of that baby phase and i'm going to miss so many things...yes, even burping him...but maybe not enough to have a third child? i'm getting older...not enough energy...time, hands, emotional strength, i know, if i had a third i would find those things and be so BLESSED so i'm not judging people with more children...just conflicted but also settling in to the idea that my baby is no longer a baby and on his way to becoming a 2-year-old toddler...tonight i was quizzing him on different animal sounds and he happily quacked, meowed, roared (like a dragon), made his own version of an elephant...ding donged, choo chooed, i'm sure i'm forgetting a couple others...it is going too fast...i have pregnant friends and want to be there somehow, too...but for now i really want to enjoy each age and phase as it is without reminiscing too much in the past or hoping for the future or focusing on regrets or what ifs...i really want to stop feeling so sorry for myself...
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