i *heart* tanya

my really good friend tanya awarded me "the fabulous blog ribbon award" which was so sweet of her but really i am undeserving and unable to accept the award...so though i am gracefully declining it (mostly because i haven't been a "good" blogger and kept up with/commented on other's blogs so i can't meet the criteria of awarding this award to 5 other bloggers)...i WILL write a quick post about how much i adore tanya, include my own 5 fabulous moments and 5+ things i love and hate (and visit the 5 bloggers she awarded the award to) with a few photos sprinkled in between :)

i have better photos of tanya but i chose this one because it was taken at my 40th birthday party and i was so blessed to have her there...she came with homemade cake from her Chamorro heritage and this peace sign is also emblematic of her easy going and fun loving nature. tanya is one of those friends who just always come through...as a best friend, as a mom, at home, in school, volunteering, helping friends and strangers alike. she is amazing. her help with various projects in school and more importantly in my personal life have been invaluable.

our eldest children, sea, and her son elijah were in the same kindergarten class and though they were in different 1st grade classrooms, they maintained a close friendship this past year. in fact, they have plans to marry one another (after they turn 30)...here is a little essay sea wrote about elijah in school:

i'm not sure if you can read this essay but i add it because some of the qualities my daughter appreciates in tanya's son could also be said of her: "he is a good book maker...good other (author)...alwas helps me with stof...he has a kind heart...he is respectful because he alwas helps me...my buddy has a buotifal smile". tanya is an accomplished author who has published her works in various places (visit her website linked above for more details). she has honored me by allowing me to read unpublished works in the making and given me a signed copy of another. we both love to write and read and she inspires me to someday try and get some of my writing published! if not i appreciate that she reads my blog and we can share this passion together.


she is very generous in both physical gifts (random homemade food, extra snacks from the islands, handwritten birthday card and gifts) and even more importantly to me, the gift of her time, friendship and support. she is a wonderful listener and can offer advice or just be there in silence when needed. she is tender and sensitive, yet strong and independent at the same time. i appreciate all of these qualities and she is intuitive to boot, so she knows what is needed at any given moment. she has adopted my family as her own and i feel like we are related! or sisters at least. there are a lot of stories that go along to support that idea but i think the concept of sisters and depth of that support should suffice for now.


i'm having a "yearbook" moment writing this blog post...what i mean is i don't think i ever wrote in any of my best friends' yearbooks because there was just too much i wanted to say and i didn't think i would do a good enough job so instead i wrote nothing :( appropriately timed since we both just celebrated our 20th reunion from high school within the past couple years...anyway, i'm glad i have gotten secure enough to be able to write something instead of becoming handicapped with fear i didn't write enough or left out something important...i can always write more posts about tanya, right?


so maybe i will edit this post in the next few days and add more but for now, here were the rules for the award tanya attempted to award me:


"In order to receive this award you have to follow a few rules:

1. POST THE RULES ON YOUR BLOG
2. NAME 5 OF YOUR MOST FABULOUS MOMENTS EITHER IN REAL LIFE OR IN THE BLOGOSPHERE
3. NAME 5 THINGS YOU LOVE
4. NAME 5 THINGS YOU HATE
5. PASS THE RIBBON ON TO 5 OTHER BLOGGERS"

here are 5 of my most fabulous moments along with photos:

1. realizing i was in love with my best friend:

2. our wedding day (no photos scanned so here is one from our honeymoon in the cook islands):

3. birth of sea:

4. birth of story:

5. turning 40 and being ok with who i am (i've had a lifetime of feeling misunderstood and trying to figure out who i was):

5 things i love:

1. my husband, daughter and son

2. writing

3. taking photos

4. the beach

5. music

6. traveling

7. food/eating/cooking/health

(i have trouble following instructions and/or committing to just 5)

5 thing i hate:

1. lack of integrity

2. stupidity

3. not going through my garage (accumulated stuff physical and psychological)

4. not knowing where i stand with people

5. feeling misunderstood

i was just re-reading tanya's answers to these questions and i could have written many of these same things (see the award link above to read it yourself)...i so appreciate that she understands me, i know where i stand with her, she has integrity and she is quite bright both in knowledge and the intuitive abilities necessary for a variety of social situations :)

thank you tanya for (trying to) award me this award and for giving me the opportunity to write some of the things i appreciate about you and about my life. i am so sad that you are moving to washington this fall but i have met a couple people from everett recently who are hopeful you will want to move back :) if not, you are definitely one of those friends i will travel to see and will keep in touch with wherever our paths take us. thank you for being you and thank you for your friendship.

"just write" #1...link in on extraordinary ordinary

i've written this idea many times...the idea that i just need to write more than anything else. more than the content, more than the outcome, more than the reason, more than the time i have to do so, more than how good it is, more than who reads it, etc. etc. and now heather, from one of my favorite blogs of all time, the extraordinary ordinary, is challenging her readers to "just write" and link back up on her blog every tuesday. here is her description of what to freely write about:

"Write whatever is happening around you WHILE you are writing (sometimes that’s the very best) OR whatever DETAILS you remember about your day or a specific experience.

Next, try not to clarify or explain what you want to speak through your post too much. (Try not to force a theme or message.) Just write your experiences. What did you: See? Smell? Touch? Feel? Hear? What did it make you think?

Then watch how your ordinary and extraordinary experiences speak all on their own. That’s it!"

you can add your link and join me here.


***ADD A COMMENT ON MY POST IF YOU ARE LINKED AND I'LL READ YOURS :)

free association has always been the best way to describe my writing. in fact, free association was one of my first labels since i couldn't think of a better way to describe what many of my posts were about. it is also a psychological term and my educational background is in psychology. i was a psychology professor before i became a full time stay-at-home mommy. so i included heather's instructions because i can easily write about the thoughts/feelings i have, the details of my day, observations, etc. the difficult part of this challenge for me will be "try not to clarify or explain what you want to speak through your post"...in fact, i was thinking if i ever had enough readers to come up with my own challenge i would have the opposite "just analyze"...like pick a topic/problem/issue in your life and analyze it through as many different angles as you can think of...then link up and get feedback from other readers...i think some of the most personal blogs are the most interesting. in fact, i have very few readers but when i titled a recent post "irritable and moping" which isn't that personal, i more than doubled my readers on that post. unfortunately the post itself wasn't that interesting. even now as i type this i think i should go edit/add/change the content...but i rarely remove much of what i write...what i'm getting at is often in the middle of all the rambles and can't be reduced down. my husband on the other hand can say what he means in very few words. both in conversation and in writing. and i think there are pros and cons to both approaches. we balance one another in that way. we are also both nerdy and feel understood by few (fortunately each other)...my previous post touched on this idea briefly...

i feel like i'm stalling...waiting for inspiration or the nugget i was thinking about as i went to bed that connects to so many other ideas...i'll get there...but wanted to ask a question of any readers i may have...i currently have a google blogspot account that is 90%+ at its max. i haven't yet figured out what that means and what will happen when i do max out (i assume this is from the many photos in my posts). but i'm prepared to pay for my blog and commit to it on a deeper level (as evidenced by my willingness to pay for it). i thought i just went to one place and tried to register a domain name but when i tried to do that this morning i found several hosts (am i using the right terminology?) and also have questions like how to have all the features on google...i briefly read about wordpress and that sounds like the answer there...any suggestions on how to transfer my 4 years of blogging into a new site and which host to use? i don't have many readers to transfer there so i can have a fresh start without worrying who i will lose, but i don't want to lose anything i've written (or comments on posts) or any of my photos. is there a max to how many photos total or data for that matter you can put up on a domain? do you pay extra for that? 

so no more stalling...i have 15 minutes to get some content down so i can start getting my daughter sea ready for school. last night as i was reflecting on what i wanted to blog about i was thinking about this very idea of "just writing" about the details of my day and what i thought about. and then i came across heather's blog in my blog roll and realized i really wanted to do it more officially and connect to other people doing it and credit her for bringing us together so you can join, too!

the other reason i decided to connect with heather's challenge is that I LOVE HER BLOG...really, i have no reason to promote her other than she is a blogger i relate with, enjoy reading and she strikes that balance between living in the moment (her blog name embodies that...she appreciates the little ordinary things and sees the extraordinary in them) and finding meaning without trying so hard to do so that she misses the little things or daily life. in fact, daily life and the little things ARE what is most meaningful in many cases...

which reminds me when i was trying to find my niche or voice or what i liked to write about back in high school a teacher once said "truth is stranger than fiction" and what i took from that is writing about things you know can often be more compelling than trying to create something...i've always been more of a non-fiction writer so that made sense to me. i also mentioned my psychology background and how i just naturally analyze...usually myself more than others, but i'm always looking for hidden meanings or trying to figure out how things relate.

last night i was also reflecting on my struggle with depression and how people seemed to want to read a post about struggling..."misery loves company"...or maybe people just like to feel like "my life, my problems aren't THAT bad..." for example, my mom has hoarding tendencies so the show "hoarders" is very refreshing to her because she can feel like she isn't a hoarder watching it...

i also just think people are more HUMAN when they are comfortable sharing their weaknesses. from a psychological standpoint the idea that disclosure leads to disclosure. so if i share something personal about myself you are much more likely to share something about yourself than if i keep our interaction very surface level. or if i encourage you to talk about personal things about yourself, you somehow feel closer to me like i "know" you better...i can see how getting readers and comments on your blog could be very cathartic in this way.

so back to the sad ideas i was reflecting on last night...i was thinking how when i attend funerals i rarely care about the general descriptions given "he/she was kind, generous, loving, etc."...what really chokes me up are the small descriptive details of people's lives...examples of things they said or did...the same holds true for blogs...when bloggers write about minutia of their daily life i can often relate with what that means even without them having a theme or describing what they are trying to do by writing about those details. i think this is partly what heather is getting at with her challenge. the idea that we can all relate on the very human and personal aspect of these details.

well my 15 minutes are up and i didn't even get to the small details of yesterday...one of the ideas i was hoping to touch on occurred when i went to java mama, i cafe designed so children could play in a play area while moms eat/drink/work/hang out. this concept worked well when my children were younger. really it worked fine yesterday in the sense that my children enjoyed playing...wearing dress up, zooming around on a small car, role playing with toys and other children...what struck me, though was how my children are no longer toddlers. this shouldn't be shocking considering they are almost 4 and 6. but somehow i just thought children universally continued to enjoy songs like "the wheels on the bus" and "hokey pokey" (i didn't really think this...just was surprised how far past this my children are).

i always thought i wanted to have a big family...always wished i had a brother, more siblings. i had hoped to provide my children with this until i had two very spirited, active, intense children. i can't keep up with them. i know someday they will channel this energy into something positive (and they often do now) but i'm often mediating between them with each other, with other children, with adults and it can be exhausting. i've said "i only have two hands" and that i need one for each child (literally and figuratively)...yet when i hang out with first time moms, friends with only one child younger than mine, or even friends who have their third, i somehow get a little jealous of the opportunity to start over. have a fresh start. make different decisions how i interact with my children, what activities we do, what i notice. because really i don't have too many regrets what i did or didn't do...my regrets are more about not BEING THERE in the moment...PRESENT...and not trying to take photos or write about it, but experiencing it. so i will leave on that note. an ever present reminder to myself of how i hope to live. noticing and experiencing the details...the extraordinary ordinary as heather would say.

i just got back from taking my daughter to school...stopped, LITERALLY to let my son observe (not smell) a brilliant orange red iceland poppy opening up...check out some christmas light decorations...i've posted this blog post on blogher and facebook...hard to put myself out there without feeling i should be adding/editing/writing disclaimers (like this one)...so as i sip my extra strongly brewed sumatra coffee in warmed egg nog and listen to the "paul simon" station on pandora, making breakfast of gluten-free pancakes, hash browns and scrambled eggs...i'll reflect on what else i'd like to add in observations about the little things in my day :)

today's goal (tomorrow's blog post) is to write my holiday letter...look over last years photos...hopefully i'll write a post with representative photos from all 12 months of last year...we'll see how much time i have...

making music, dancing to cash, baking cookies...

and preparing for our first garage sale tomorrow...these dancing photos were taken in the summer but you get the idea...sea and manuel are coloring the letters of "yard sale"...sea was just playing the piano with her foot, tapping a drum and shaking a shaker at once...taking turns dancing with her dad...i've been eating too much cookie dough...

halloween playdate chaos, restless lack of sleep, etc.

if i could post the photos from any given day's post the next day i think i'd be able to blog daily...i usually have at least a little i have time to write about...but to upload the photos and then go through them to pick some for the post...not so much...today i hosted a halloween playdate at my house. it was for the younger siblings or story-aged children...fabric ghosts, foam pumpkin stickers, pipe cleaner and pom pom spiders...i'm not even sure i took a photo of these crafts...my vision was to put them on a garland in the front window...so tomorrow i'll hope to finish my vision, photograph it and get a photo up...tonight i could NOT get sea to fall asleep...it is 10:30 and she just went to sleep...story started coughing and rolling around like he was going to wake up just as she went to sleep and then kyra chimed in with some barking (frustrated she didn't get to play much today since i left her outside during the playdate)...the playdate was fun...sweet sparkling champagne, coffee, juice, i made gluten-free banana pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, scrambled eggs with pureed spinach and mozzarella cheese that looked like spider webs...everyone brought yummy food for the potluck and it was nice time with kids and moms and chaos...i still have a LOT to clean up...i meant to not let the children play in sea or story's rooms...only bring out a few toys or have them make forts out of blankets or something low maintenance but of course story was excited to show kids toys, zoom around on cars/bikes so i let it go...right now i'm supposed to be getting out an update to sea's class as room mom...so back to what i should be doing with hopes of more of what i'd like to do sometime tomorrow...oh, and i teach art corps for the first time this year in sea's class tomorrow afternoon...

lazy sunday eating playing sleeping...OMD

sea and story were playing that they got married last week sometime (and then i asked what they were going to do next and sea said "have a baby!" and promptly pulled these two out of the top of her dress)...this photo is more for the idea of them playing nicely together...role playing, eating "samples" like at costco...serving one another small drinks out of the lids of the juice...now they are following one another around on their bikes down the halls of the house...manuel is watching the broncos play in the other room...i'm about to make a middle of the afternoon meal of beans, rice, veggies of some sort...pablo is curled up asleep on top of the printer...it is a really warm fall day...high 70's...perfect day to have done our usual and gone to dog beach but manuel and i were out until 2 a.m. last night at the album leaf show (i'm going to upload a video later) and now we are getting read to leave to see OMD in about four hours...i really like their new album but of course "if you leave" was the predictable last song at every class night end-of-year party in high school and there were many other classics i'm looking forward to going back 20+ years in memories to hear...i took a lovely nap with manuel earlier...story even fell asleep (mostly nursed) with us...sea busied herself drawing the entire time...was even whispering when i woke up, trying to be quiet so we could sleep...

the kids are getting kyra all riled up and her barking is distracting me...off to be in the moment and appreciate these lazy sundays with little we need to do but spend time together as a family...

between in-laws, football, pablo, enchiladas

my in-laws came down this weekend...in the middle of cleaning up enchiladas...trying not to let pablo escape again...yesterday was filled with lazy sleeping in, hanging out at home, shopping at the "ramate" swap meet, watching football, cooking/eating lots of food...enchiladas...beans, homemade rice, mashed potatoes, lettuce, tomatoes, avocados...this morning poppy came with us to take sea to school...he got to attend her monday morning assembly...she has a marigold flower in her right hand for her teacher...

love and peanut butter pie

my mom used to make peanut butter pie when we were growing up...i recently read this heart breaking post on my friend amanda's blog about a fellow blogger whose husband died suddenly of a heart attack. apparently he loved peanut butter pie and she asked that we make peanut butter pie and hug our families close this past friday in remembrance of him...so we are in my home town this weekend for my cousin's wedding so i asked my mom to make the pie...we are up late, kids playing with auntie and mimi...story is saying "CHEEEEESSSSSSSE!!!" in a very loud cheesy voice in this photo...off to bed...

eating rocket ship popcicles

i was much more interested in blogging this morning when i'd had just a little bit too much kona coffee with vanilla flavored coconut cream...i was buzzing around the house, proud of myself for getting so much accomplished so early...usually friday comes around and i'm left with too much i'm trying to cram in and no free time...but today i agreed to meet a friend at the children's museum downtown at 2 which meant i had to feed the children two meals, clean them up, clean the house and do laundry before i left. right now i have resorted to letting them watch "martha speaks", probably their favorite show on PBS kids while they eat homemade rocket ship popcicles like the ones shown here...of course i'm also trying to cook dinner...pasta with vegetables, olive oil, garlic, toasted pine nuts...fresh tomatoes and fresh basil out of our garden...i'm thinking about opening a bottle of red wine...kids are fighting over what to watch...dog is looking for things to chew...cat is trying to escape outside...i need to start making plans for going out of town for my cousin ally's wedding...mom and sis want us to come tonight but i think we aren't going until tomorrow...off to be productive and i'll check back in when i have more time (ha!) or at least more creative juices (caffeine)...

recommendation for restaurants in san diego

sea and story coloring their kids' menu at spaghetti factory in downtown san diego

i consider myself a "foodie"...it is a significant part of my identity...i've always loved food...mainly eating it, but also i was a server in several restaurants (most of them in the napa valley) for 16 years...i enjoy cooking food, learning about food, learning about nutrition, etc. i eat a LOT of food...often...fast metabolism...i "live to eat" instead of "eating to live" as my dad would say...very few foods i dislike...i love the social nature of eating with friends/family...

one of my friends sent me a fb message asking for a recommendation for a place to eat dinner here in san diego this coming saturday night...somehow i couldn't just throw her out one or two ideas...i feel like i need to figure out her values, factors she is considering, etc. analysis to come up with the perfect fit (i spend way too much time on details)...her request was "fun, yummy and kid friendly"...

the criteria i usually use to find a place to eat is 1) participants' requirements 2) location
3) ambiance/cool factor 4) food 5) service 6) cost

i usually get about two of these things in any dining experience...especially with kids...

so looking at her requirements, i'm not sure what qualities make dining fun...not sure what type of cuisine she typically likes...but i have two rambunctious children so i can definitely speak to how "kid friendly" many places are...

so i'll start with her location. she is going to be at qualcomm stadium which is right near where we live. if i was visiting san diego, i would make location a very high priority in the restaurant i chose...either to be reflective of "san diego" and all this town has to offer (beach locations, cool downtown, etc.) or in her case she may just want to be close to where she will be...will have to clarify that...so the major areas i would consider as far as location are 1) la jolla (looking out over the the ocean and near seals, shopping, etc.) 2) coronado (another beach location) 3) downtown (usually busy and lots to see) 4) old town san diego ("fun" criteria met here)...

next i would look at type of cuisine her family usually enjoys. we often eat thai/vietnamese/asian, italian or mexican. actually, unless someone is visiting and makes a recommendation, we usually choose a restaurant based on low cost and/or easy (close to where we are/kid friendly)...so as much as i consider myself a "foodie" have by no means eaten my way around san diego...i will share some of the places we often go to give an idea of suggestions i would make...

for "location" or at least an awesome view i would go to brockton villa overlooking the la jolla coast line. i especially like this location for breakfast but you can get their coast toast (orange flavored souffle-like french toast) all day...this might be a nice place at sunset...not necessarily "fun" or particularly kid friendly but there are always families there and it is right across from the seals...service will only be fair and cost is a little overpriced but probably worth it for the view...this is where we took my dad for his 65th birthday right before he passed away...

another location i would consider is coronado. it is an awesome self-contained "island" just on the other side of a bridge from downtown san diego. lots of places that are within walking distance. we like to eat at village pizzeria...GREAT pizza, if you like garlic i'd highly recommend asking for a side of their garlic oil and pouring it all over whatever pizza you order. the location of the restaurant itself is not awesome but it is right near the beach and right on the main street with all the shops and i would fit coronado or a beach town in if you are in san diego...i just found out on yelp there is another location which might be better because it actually has a view of downtown san diego...i would say the service here is good, ambiance just ok, definitely very kid friendly (lot of kids/families here)...

next, for location, i would consider old town san diego. there are a LOT of mexican restaurants in close proximity up and down the main street and throughout this whole area...we like to go to casa de reyes because it is right in a colorful courtyard with shops, live music playing on a nearby stage, great outdoor tables (you HAVE to eat outside if you go here), fountains, lots of people and overall "fun" i would say...the food unfortunately is just average and the service probably even less so with prices too high...but they have HUGE what some call "bird bath" margaritas which can help a lot of those other variables...this was actually the last place we eat the night my dad died...i couldn't bring myself to post photos from that day, so here is one from when his family came out years later...
and sea dancing in front of the stage next to the restaurant...
spaghetti factory allows you to get the downtown san diego scene and still be kid friendly, reasonably priced and decent food. i'd pay the $15 for valet parking (or pay a nearby lot) to avoid driving around and around for close to an hour to find street parking.

another family friendly choice would be filippi's located in little italy near our old house in banker's hill and also near downtown san diego. it was the first san diego restaurant we found when we moved here...line out the door (but the line moves quickly)...family owned, huge portions, great price, good food, lots of families here...

i've left off several of our favorite thai places...lotus thai and taste of thai both in hillcrest...i really enjoy their food and we usually get great service but the cost is high, not a great location and not kid friendly so i left those off...

my sister is visiting tonight and we are using a groupon to go to indian food...maybe i'll add that to my quick overview of san diego favs...

all the busy details of a week of summer

this first photo was taken at sea' new art class at our friend emily's house...it was monday afternoon after a 14+ hour marathon for her birthday at the beach (future post) and she really wasn't into it but she still managed to carefully color this entire large picture with a blue sky background...i believe we met up with her "student" aiden and his family at the pool that night...i made bean and cheese burritos for everyone and his mom brought chips, salsa and very yummy ripe peaches along with homemade cupcakes...tuesday escapes me at this point...i know story went without a nap and fell asleep sitting upright on the couch shortly after dinner...
tuesday night manuel was going to go to a little music concert, cold cave, at the casbah, a small club 3 blocks from our old apartment downtown...as he was about to leave he realized we have a friend temporarily living with us and she could watch s and s while we BOTH went...we so rarely get babysitters...i was tired but excited...story was sound asleep since he hadn't had a nap that day...sea was going to go to sleep but then realized we were going to leave (we didn't explain this idea to her as well as we normally would...we are usually very honest and up front about everything we are doing/intend to do with our children)...so she jumped out of bed and started crying that she didn't want us to go...we asked her why since she usually asks us to get a babysitter! and she said "because i LOVE you mommy and i'm going to MISS you..." to which manuel changed his mind and said "ok, sea, never mind...nothing is more important than you and we will stay..." (i'm overly simplifying this conversation, but that was the gist...the trouble wasn't that we were leaving but just that we hadn't prepared her or explained that possibility well enough) to which she sucked in breaths and said "no, i want you to go..." but she was still sniffling...we asked her if a video would cheer her up (i try not to let them watch much tv/movies) and she said "maybe?" and then we put a richard scarry compilation on and she was fine...so we decided to go! it was awesome...so nice just the two of us...i felt like a young 20 something again...possibilities in front of us, love for music, togetherness...we didn't have tickets and the show was sold out...but we waited patiently and sure enough, manuel's good luck led to the guy collecting tickets coming over to us during the 2nd opening act and saying "hey, you guys are the only ones still waiting, i'll let you in..." we even managed to get right next to the stage...literally, i was at the far left end on the corner leaning against the stage...great vantage point to watch the entire band and wesley eisold came within inches of my face...singing his heart out...so intense, so much feeling, so believable...we talked about how raw he was, how much he shared of himself, vulnerability, connecting with his audience, etc...we both shook his hand after the show and thanked him...i literally jumped on wikipedia late that night to read about him...we have the same birthday...he's felt misunderstood, write poems...his music is some cross between say morrissey and punk? i like the dramatic ballady stuff more than the angry electronic stuff...anyway, he is also good looking so manuel was joking how i had a little crush...

wednesday (yesterday) was ridiculously over-booked but in a good way...one of my good friends from college days (she was a bridesmaid in my wedding and we lived together after college) sister ashleigh lives down here in san diego. she reminds me of a cross between myself (i even think we look a little bit alike) and her sister brandie...she just had a baby susana...they came over for breakfast...i felt surprisingly together...house fairly clean, even floors vacuumed, made an easy meal with make your own frozen GF pancakes (kids put butter, syrup, almond butter, whip cream, bananas, peaches, cinnamon, etc. on top) and scrambled eggs...ashleigh and i sipped our french press sumatra coffee with vanilla flavored coconut creamer and actually got to talk for a little while...our 4 children played fairly well together...especially when pablo the kitten let them wrap him in blankets in a baby stroller (i was enjoying our conversation too much to get a photo of this)...
next we packed up a quick lunch/snack of PBJ, apples, bananas, crackers, seaweed and juice boxes and headed to the neighborhood park to meet sea's "student" steven and his mom. sophia and i worked well together on various class projects in kindergarten and i really like her a lot as a person so it was nice to catch up and have adult time while the children zoomed around the park on their bikes (sea has only been riding a few days and was able to keep up with steven who is almost 7 and been riding for awhile! my little tomboy!) and story on his scooter...helmets too big...i was apparently so caught up in the moment i didn't even take any photos! a good thing i suppose...next the children collected leaves and sticks and played together creating things...i felt a little rushed at this point trying to head to the zoo...kids didn't seem to mind too much...we met my childhood friend cara and her daughter bria in the children's section of the zoo...my children could have played there all day! i really need to get more use out of our annual passes...here they are looking up at a loud squacking parrot (story covering his ears from the loud noise)...
story showing bria how to be dangerous...
sea finding another animal (a sloth)...story is nursing on my lap as i type this and he is pointing to the photo saying "those animals can bite" which was one of the qualities he and sea were looking for as they zoomed around the zoo...quick free associating aside...i used to over-relate with sloths as a child...felt big and slow and lazy and a little sad...glad my daughter doesn't overly focus on these details of life for now...
after playing on the "grayground" (what they used to call playgrounds) at the zoo bria wanted to go to the petting zoo...sea was spinning around and around and didn't want to come...she said something about being too big for the petting zoo...now that she is 6 i'm realizing she is getting too big for some things which made me sad but she humored me and came in and tried to be interested in petting a few animals...anyway, here is story next to a goat...
now it is thursday and i have so much i need to do! i could almost write my to do list here to show how random it is and how life can be busy without even scheduling anything...i'm aware this list will take several days but i usually over-list so i'll feel motivated i need to get on it because there is so much to do (yes, my intrinsic motivation isn't quite where i'd like it to be!)

--take kyra for a walk
--upload photos for photo books i have to complete by the 31st
--call marci to tell her we aren't coming out to see a cinderella play at the redlands bowl
--look into mary "puppet" (poppins) tickets for a play coming here to SD (their friend iris liked this in portland and s and s are really into this movie)
--pick up stronger (possibly toxic?) less natural (hopefully effective?) flea and tick meds for both kyra and pablo
--pick up 2 hummingbird feeders (we have some angry birds who are upset both ours broke and they haven't been fed for over a week...i always look forward to watching them hover around the olive tree and eat...and i want one in front of sea's bedroom window, too) and a dog bone for kyra who has been chewing on too many things
--put photos on a disk to take to costco...get ink filled for printer
--print out coupon for michael's and look for summer sales/get photo book
--check if CVS has put summer stuff on sale yet to get favors/beach supplies for sea's party next year
--pay bills online/mail mortgage payment
--organize sea and story's rooms/closets (toys in their right bins)
--make appt with applecare to have computer backed up to 2nd external hard drive (definitely for another day)
--clean out the kitchen cupboard so like items are together
--figure out how much deb owed on ana's shower so i can contact her/deposit check
--go through all paperwork so i know what i need to do in the future and can get rid of now (or actually do now instead of filing for a later date)
--get sea to write thank you notes for few gifts opened...open gifts from 1st co-op and write those thank yous...

we are meeting up with the members of our first co-op for one last coronado storytime/playdate in the park before calvin/sarah/family leave...i feel like i can't get enough photos/hold onto enough memories/stop time...not sure what i'm trying to do here but it seems like i'm trying to repair some childhood issues at the same time as dealing with this loss :(

no time for reflection/analysis...obviously too much to do today! sea is still sleeping at 8:23 a.m. and story has been nursing this whole time...pablo asleep on my purse on the desk by me...kyra asleep on the chair behind me..."one magic trick" by m. ward just came on pandora (kids love singing this song in the car)...story looked up from his "mummgies" to smile at me in recognition...

wow, i feel really good about how many details i got down on here! definitely representative of how busy our summer has been...hoping to slow down and just BE...enjoy my time with my children...someone recently asked me if i was going to put story in preschool and i just sort of looked at them blankly like i didn't understand the questions...honestly i'm so loving being home with them and i know in a couple years he will be off to kindergarten and it will feel like a couple minutes...story just grabbed my chin and turned my head saying "aahhh, look at pablo..."

off to be with them...

thanksgiving photos

i'll give you the very abbreviated version of our thanksgiving weekend...somehow this photo of my cousin ally ("auntie raspberry" for her hair...not strawberry blonde like sea's if you are wondering the connection) and her fiance john didn't make it in...he proposed to her para sailing...even put the ring on her finger in the sky...i'm excited she asked both sea and story to be in their wedding this summer...wednesday before thanksgiving i hosted a potluck "thankful for friends" play date...here is a representative gluten-free pumpkin pie...
you can see the wet felt pumpkins on the window sill we made at waldorf preschool...
and a yummy stew a mom brought with yams, red peppers, black beans...there were so many wonderful food items i was too busy eating to capture on film...
another mom brought this bouquet from the farmer's market...complete with corn flowers!
then we were off to mimi and angee's house...the kids stayed awake the whole way and stayed up watching t.v. with angee...
the next morning sea was SUPER excited to ride in her booster seat in mimi's car (she doesn't quite meet the weight requirement so she will stay in her more secure car seat awhile longer otherwise)...
so story of course said "angee ride with chewey"...
the cousins immediately started playing once we got to uncle dave's house...
i loved the yellowish lighting and "old school" feel of my cousins lisa and katie getting ready in the bathroom...cool angles and you can see me peaking in the doorway in the mirror...
i also liked this artsy angle of john playing guitar...
story shaking the wind chimes over and over...
we are thinking about getting a dog around christmastime and a golden retriever is in our top three choices...
we've been teasing the kids "uncle dave does NOT eat turkey" to which they both shake their heads vigorously and say "uh-HUH!" and so we said we'd see at thanksgiving...here they are watching eagerly...
and uncle dave slicing turkey before he popped some in his mouth...
they were chatting with dad about it here...
auntie lisa and her boyfriend serving themselves in the buffet line...
action shot everyone milling at the table...
eating, conversing...
sea showing uncle dave her second loose tooth (her first fell out shortly after showing him)...
then we went on a walk...
john's mom took over my camera so i could be in a few shots...
it was nice to be in one with manuel...
sea and chloe...

me with my mom...
chloe looking back to ask why i wasn't holding hands in the chain...
story wanted to hang out with the big girls and be like them...so he borrowed chloe's crown...
so excited...

nice sunlight...
this shot reminds me of some of the trees at the cemetery where my dad is buried...

persimmon tree...
most of the gang (who went on the walk anyway) in front of dave's house...

dave taking a cat nap like my dad used to...
pie!
girls reading stories with my mom...
then we were off for ventura to visit my in-laws...here is sea making crafts in sabbath school...
love this teddy bear she drew...
collecting offering...
story found some gourds...

and a butterfly...


finally, we went to the ramate (spanish swap meet) on sunday...here is sea with her poppy and cousin skye...
and story with his new plane... (helicopter)...