end of summer beach day

we went to the beach today...a couple beaches in fact (huge swells, undercurrents, wind and excessive bacteria sent us packing to different dog beaches)...right now my children are watching curious ("monkey") george and eating spinach and cheese ravioli...our dog can't decide if she wants to be in there with them, outside, inside, chasing our cat...the cat is asleep on the desk by my computer...slacker is playing "favorite mashup station"...some trance/dance type number that has more energy than i do...manuel is already asleep...we are going to spend all day tomorrow at our community pool and then go to the ice cream social at sea's school tomorrow night to find out who her first grade teacher is.

i've had so much anxiety about letting go of my little kindergartener, summer ending, not knowing what is ahead of us...we should know a little more tomorrow...i wanted to write a lot more on that topic like my memories of her in kindergarten, expectations before school, memories from summer, etc. but i'm not feeling it right now. i haven't been feeling a lot of things lately...like an irritable, sleep-deprived, anxiety-filled low grade depression that seems more self-indulgent than anything else...so i want the focus to be on HER or at least appreciating the now instead of lamenting what i'm losing...

i changed my nablopomo badge to the month of september and the theme of "return" but i haven't committed to writing every day this month as i was WAY over it and it felt like a task halfway through...i want to enjoy and look forward to blogging when i have the time, something interesting to say...that may not be tonight :)