"mom, you don't have to worry..."

today was a farewell party for sea's friend calvin and his family. i've been writing this post in my head all day and dreading thinking about/trying to avoid writing this post at the same time. analogous to how i felt my senior year in high school when i wanted to say so much in so many people's yearbooks and ended up not writing in them at all for many of the same reasons. wanting to control this next major turning point in our lives...the first time sea has "lost" one of her close friends...

i had just shared with his mom how much i was going to miss them...tears streaming down my face, how i'd taken our friendship for granted and the fact they lived just right over the bridge...so much of our children's history shared...i was pulling myself together driving home, watching sea in my rear view mirror trying to imagine how she was feeling. so i asked "sea, do you feel sad that calvin is moving away?" she said, "mom, he's not moving away forever...we'll see him again..." this next photo captures their innocent glee...perhaps not fully understanding the finality of this farewell...
so i pushed a little further, trying to explain that though he would visit and we could visit them, he would not live here again...so she paused for a moment in reflection and then in her ever-optimistic child-like way calmly explained to me "mom, you don't have to worry...you know where we will always live with him don't you?"...i really had no idea where she was going with this one...so she started giving me hints the way i would with her "it starts with an 'H'...'H-E'...heavvvv...HEAVEN! you know Jesus could come tomorrow and we could live together with him forever. we could even celebrate my birthday in heaven!" that brought me back to reality and also to the value of re-framing my perspective...adoration for my daughter and her ability to see the light in life's dark moments and bring hope...so i'll end on that note along with a photo of sea and calvin...so young yet so old for their age...i can imagine them as teens posing for this same shot...