sea's 6th bday party at the beach

last sunday was sea's 6th birthday party at la jolla shores...we got there at 5 something to reserve a spot...here we are getting ready...blowing up #6 birthday balloons...


then we made some bubbles (forgot to do this once guests arrived)...
here is our "favor" table...a little sand bucket and shovel and little toys to go inside...the whistles were a hit...my favorite favor was the rainbow leis...
tres leche cake...
peeking under the towel to look at the cake...
getting ready to sing happy birthday...


sea showing off how she needs two hands to show her age now...
eating cake (i couldn't untangle the helium balloons i'd hoped to pass out)...
friends...
family shot...
"surfing" with the cousins, dad, uncle matthew...
love the toes waiting for the waves...
friends...
exhaustion...
sea wanted a wedding dress for dress up...
cousins...
sea passed out in the car on the drive home...were were there until after 7...more than 14 hours at the beach?!!
back home, showered and opening a few gifts with the cousins...

all the busy details of a week of summer

this first photo was taken at sea' new art class at our friend emily's house...it was monday afternoon after a 14+ hour marathon for her birthday at the beach (future post) and she really wasn't into it but she still managed to carefully color this entire large picture with a blue sky background...i believe we met up with her "student" aiden and his family at the pool that night...i made bean and cheese burritos for everyone and his mom brought chips, salsa and very yummy ripe peaches along with homemade cupcakes...tuesday escapes me at this point...i know story went without a nap and fell asleep sitting upright on the couch shortly after dinner...
tuesday night manuel was going to go to a little music concert, cold cave, at the casbah, a small club 3 blocks from our old apartment downtown...as he was about to leave he realized we have a friend temporarily living with us and she could watch s and s while we BOTH went...we so rarely get babysitters...i was tired but excited...story was sound asleep since he hadn't had a nap that day...sea was going to go to sleep but then realized we were going to leave (we didn't explain this idea to her as well as we normally would...we are usually very honest and up front about everything we are doing/intend to do with our children)...so she jumped out of bed and started crying that she didn't want us to go...we asked her why since she usually asks us to get a babysitter! and she said "because i LOVE you mommy and i'm going to MISS you..." to which manuel changed his mind and said "ok, sea, never mind...nothing is more important than you and we will stay..." (i'm overly simplifying this conversation, but that was the gist...the trouble wasn't that we were leaving but just that we hadn't prepared her or explained that possibility well enough) to which she sucked in breaths and said "no, i want you to go..." but she was still sniffling...we asked her if a video would cheer her up (i try not to let them watch much tv/movies) and she said "maybe?" and then we put a richard scarry compilation on and she was fine...so we decided to go! it was awesome...so nice just the two of us...i felt like a young 20 something again...possibilities in front of us, love for music, togetherness...we didn't have tickets and the show was sold out...but we waited patiently and sure enough, manuel's good luck led to the guy collecting tickets coming over to us during the 2nd opening act and saying "hey, you guys are the only ones still waiting, i'll let you in..." we even managed to get right next to the stage...literally, i was at the far left end on the corner leaning against the stage...great vantage point to watch the entire band and wesley eisold came within inches of my face...singing his heart out...so intense, so much feeling, so believable...we talked about how raw he was, how much he shared of himself, vulnerability, connecting with his audience, etc...we both shook his hand after the show and thanked him...i literally jumped on wikipedia late that night to read about him...we have the same birthday...he's felt misunderstood, write poems...his music is some cross between say morrissey and punk? i like the dramatic ballady stuff more than the angry electronic stuff...anyway, he is also good looking so manuel was joking how i had a little crush...

wednesday (yesterday) was ridiculously over-booked but in a good way...one of my good friends from college days (she was a bridesmaid in my wedding and we lived together after college) sister ashleigh lives down here in san diego. she reminds me of a cross between myself (i even think we look a little bit alike) and her sister brandie...she just had a baby susana...they came over for breakfast...i felt surprisingly together...house fairly clean, even floors vacuumed, made an easy meal with make your own frozen GF pancakes (kids put butter, syrup, almond butter, whip cream, bananas, peaches, cinnamon, etc. on top) and scrambled eggs...ashleigh and i sipped our french press sumatra coffee with vanilla flavored coconut creamer and actually got to talk for a little while...our 4 children played fairly well together...especially when pablo the kitten let them wrap him in blankets in a baby stroller (i was enjoying our conversation too much to get a photo of this)...
next we packed up a quick lunch/snack of PBJ, apples, bananas, crackers, seaweed and juice boxes and headed to the neighborhood park to meet sea's "student" steven and his mom. sophia and i worked well together on various class projects in kindergarten and i really like her a lot as a person so it was nice to catch up and have adult time while the children zoomed around the park on their bikes (sea has only been riding a few days and was able to keep up with steven who is almost 7 and been riding for awhile! my little tomboy!) and story on his scooter...helmets too big...i was apparently so caught up in the moment i didn't even take any photos! a good thing i suppose...next the children collected leaves and sticks and played together creating things...i felt a little rushed at this point trying to head to the zoo...kids didn't seem to mind too much...we met my childhood friend cara and her daughter bria in the children's section of the zoo...my children could have played there all day! i really need to get more use out of our annual passes...here they are looking up at a loud squacking parrot (story covering his ears from the loud noise)...
story showing bria how to be dangerous...
sea finding another animal (a sloth)...story is nursing on my lap as i type this and he is pointing to the photo saying "those animals can bite" which was one of the qualities he and sea were looking for as they zoomed around the zoo...quick free associating aside...i used to over-relate with sloths as a child...felt big and slow and lazy and a little sad...glad my daughter doesn't overly focus on these details of life for now...
after playing on the "grayground" (what they used to call playgrounds) at the zoo bria wanted to go to the petting zoo...sea was spinning around and around and didn't want to come...she said something about being too big for the petting zoo...now that she is 6 i'm realizing she is getting too big for some things which made me sad but she humored me and came in and tried to be interested in petting a few animals...anyway, here is story next to a goat...
now it is thursday and i have so much i need to do! i could almost write my to do list here to show how random it is and how life can be busy without even scheduling anything...i'm aware this list will take several days but i usually over-list so i'll feel motivated i need to get on it because there is so much to do (yes, my intrinsic motivation isn't quite where i'd like it to be!)

--take kyra for a walk
--upload photos for photo books i have to complete by the 31st
--call marci to tell her we aren't coming out to see a cinderella play at the redlands bowl
--look into mary "puppet" (poppins) tickets for a play coming here to SD (their friend iris liked this in portland and s and s are really into this movie)
--pick up stronger (possibly toxic?) less natural (hopefully effective?) flea and tick meds for both kyra and pablo
--pick up 2 hummingbird feeders (we have some angry birds who are upset both ours broke and they haven't been fed for over a week...i always look forward to watching them hover around the olive tree and eat...and i want one in front of sea's bedroom window, too) and a dog bone for kyra who has been chewing on too many things
--put photos on a disk to take to costco...get ink filled for printer
--print out coupon for michael's and look for summer sales/get photo book
--check if CVS has put summer stuff on sale yet to get favors/beach supplies for sea's party next year
--pay bills online/mail mortgage payment
--organize sea and story's rooms/closets (toys in their right bins)
--make appt with applecare to have computer backed up to 2nd external hard drive (definitely for another day)
--clean out the kitchen cupboard so like items are together
--figure out how much deb owed on ana's shower so i can contact her/deposit check
--go through all paperwork so i know what i need to do in the future and can get rid of now (or actually do now instead of filing for a later date)
--get sea to write thank you notes for few gifts opened...open gifts from 1st co-op and write those thank yous...

we are meeting up with the members of our first co-op for one last coronado storytime/playdate in the park before calvin/sarah/family leave...i feel like i can't get enough photos/hold onto enough memories/stop time...not sure what i'm trying to do here but it seems like i'm trying to repair some childhood issues at the same time as dealing with this loss :(

no time for reflection/analysis...obviously too much to do today! sea is still sleeping at 8:23 a.m. and story has been nursing this whole time...pablo asleep on my purse on the desk by me...kyra asleep on the chair behind me..."one magic trick" by m. ward just came on pandora (kids love singing this song in the car)...story looked up from his "mummgies" to smile at me in recognition...

wow, i feel really good about how many details i got down on here! definitely representative of how busy our summer has been...hoping to slow down and just BE...enjoy my time with my children...someone recently asked me if i was going to put story in preschool and i just sort of looked at them blankly like i didn't understand the questions...honestly i'm so loving being home with them and i know in a couple years he will be off to kindergarten and it will feel like a couple minutes...story just grabbed my chin and turned my head saying "aahhh, look at pablo..."

off to be with them...

sea...almost 6

i'm on a blogging roll...not much to say, but the motivation is there which is a nice change! so i'm taking time i don't have (should be sleeping in, or cleaning bathrooms before the children awake or something more productive and important to get ready for sea's party this weekend)...a friend just invited us to join her shutterfly picture sharing site and it prompted me to add a profile pic...so i chose this top one...even though it is 5 years old (sea is just over 1), it seems representative of us with our tan, sun, beach background...and my "babies" will always feel this young to me...so of course i felt i had to blog about the photo (or series of photos)...so here are a few more from that early september, 2006 day at coronado beach...

i look a little sad here, but it also looks real...how i really felt instead of trying to put on a fake smile, so i appreciate the integrity there...
i like this full-length shot so you can see how small sea was...
and this one is cute because it looks like she is holding up her hand to say she is "FIVE!" but she was probably just waving...
this is probably the saddest looking photo of me...my dad had passed away 3 months earlier and the beach always reminded me of him...it was a love that we shared...i put this photo in anyway because i can tell it is coronado and it is part of our history and daily life...
off to be productive! i'll make time to blog about sea turning 6 and memories leading up to that and details about her now sometime before her party sunday...she turns 6 tomorrow!

"mommy i'm ready for my swimming lesson"

story is just learning how to swim...he's got the parts down...has been going under water, blowing bubbles, practicing his kicks, arms, etc. but in the last week he's put it all together and asks manuel or myself for a swim lesson where he swims from the stairs to us and then turns around and swims back. it is really cute. he gets so excited and proud of himself. the other day his 10-year-old pool friend natasha was giving him swim lessons while i was relaxing/resting in the sun and i started to feel like he didn't "need" me and i only had a few days left for his requests for a swim lesson...so i got back in the pool...sure enough, he is already showing us how he can do this by himself...they are growing up so fast...i haven't even really gotten a video of this milestone and he'll have it down before i get around to it...in other "little things" news, sea has been saying for some time now that she can ride a bike...despite the fact that she doesn't have one, hasn't practiced, hasn't even really ridden a bike with training wheels...but sure enough, yesterday she implored a new friend at the park to let her borrow their bike and by golly she had it down and was riding all over the grass! she really is motivated and a go-getter when it is on her terms...

i've been thinking about many of these little things in my life...like while typing this post kyra just chewed up the third pair of my shoes in two days...the last pair was the flip flops with turquoise and red beads that my bridesmaids wore in our wedding so i was particularly sad to lose that pair...how these little things piece together the ins and outs of my days in ways that have meaning to me...i'm always looking for big picture meanings and ways to connect/philosophize on what really matters in life but often it is stopping to be a part of the little things...of course as i say that i didn't slow down enough to notice what those little things were today...

i also re-read my post from yesterday...normally i would leave that post up for about a week because i didn't have anything more meaningful to write about...but what struck me is how i started out writing about "sea's friend calvin"...that is inaccurate on several levels...his mom is definitely one of my dear friends and i consider calvin my friend, too! it is funny how i look at life through the eyes of my children so much i forget to look at my own independent (or related) perspective...like when i was room mom sea's teacher called me "sea's mom" instead of learning my name and i was flattered that i took second tier to sea...glad the focus was on my child...but with dear friends moving away i realized after re-reading that post that it looks like they are not also MY friends! sorry, sarah, if you happen to be reading this post, too...that was not my intent nor how i feel...

did i mention i'm a psychology major and over-analyze everything? i was talking to sarah about how she should start a blog about her move to georgia and she was saying how she is a perfectionist and wouldn't want to write knowing people were reading...i used to worry about those things but now this is more of our family's journal and it is kind of liberating knowing i really don't have any readers! that sounds bad...i'd like to write well enough, interesting enough things that people WANT to read my blog...in fact i sometimes get my feelings hurt that i follow other friends' blogs and they don't read mine or that my closest friends don't follow my blog at all...but i get it...hey, i don't really follow any blogs that regularly because i get too busy to even live my own life...on that note, my children need to get to bed...here is a last photo of story, age 3, near the 3 feet deep pool marker...getting SO BIG...

"mom, you don't have to worry..."

today was a farewell party for sea's friend calvin and his family. i've been writing this post in my head all day and dreading thinking about/trying to avoid writing this post at the same time. analogous to how i felt my senior year in high school when i wanted to say so much in so many people's yearbooks and ended up not writing in them at all for many of the same reasons. wanting to control this next major turning point in our lives...the first time sea has "lost" one of her close friends...

i had just shared with his mom how much i was going to miss them...tears streaming down my face, how i'd taken our friendship for granted and the fact they lived just right over the bridge...so much of our children's history shared...i was pulling myself together driving home, watching sea in my rear view mirror trying to imagine how she was feeling. so i asked "sea, do you feel sad that calvin is moving away?" she said, "mom, he's not moving away forever...we'll see him again..." this next photo captures their innocent glee...perhaps not fully understanding the finality of this farewell...
so i pushed a little further, trying to explain that though he would visit and we could visit them, he would not live here again...so she paused for a moment in reflection and then in her ever-optimistic child-like way calmly explained to me "mom, you don't have to worry...you know where we will always live with him don't you?"...i really had no idea where she was going with this one...so she started giving me hints the way i would with her "it starts with an 'H'...'H-E'...heavvvv...HEAVEN! you know Jesus could come tomorrow and we could live together with him forever. we could even celebrate my birthday in heaven!" that brought me back to reality and also to the value of re-framing my perspective...adoration for my daughter and her ability to see the light in life's dark moments and bring hope...so i'll end on that note along with a photo of sea and calvin...so young yet so old for their age...i can imagine them as teens posing for this same shot...

midway thru summer

i just finished uploading photos from our 2 week road trip up to portland...so many great memories and shots that caught the feel for the trip...i do hope to return and give a little taste thru photos...i wish i cared more that it has been over 2 weeks since i last posted...that might motivate me to post more...maybe i'll commit to nablopomo in august? for now, here are a few photos from a couple days ago with sea and story hanging out at home...