my friend (and neighbor) julie has an (sorry i can't get this first part to not be underlined...click on the "awesome blog" part to get to her blog) awesome blog that has a lot of photography, art, creative ideas, as well as online classes...in fact, if i hadn't been at the beach all weekend (and barely uploaded a few videos for my own blog) i might have read up on her art journaling workshop and promoted it in time for the give away...oh well, she has future classes you can sign up for that sound very inspiring...
i've been meaning to do a blog on "my tree" which i discussed in an earlier post but have been obsessing over what tree to photograph...finally i decided to look out the window in our front room and go with the picturesque olive tree. i won't over-analyze why...i did have an olive tree in our side yard growing up...so here are a few photos along with brief commentary...i tried to get my children in some of them so i can watch them grow as i do this assignment, too...
this first photo was taken almost a year ago when we first did a walk through of the house (before we made an offer on it)...i like that the open door invites you in and the olive tree is the first thing that you notice...my son, story, was barely crawling and only 6 months old in the foreground:
this photo was taken today from inside the house...i liked that the children were hugging and you can see a trike just outside the window:
this shot is similar to the one taken before we put an offer on the house only you can see the hardwood floors that were underneath...again, shows you how we have a view of this tree through the window:
i took this shot so you could see the bones or trunk of the tree...on a clear day we can see the ocean between those two hills...sun is setting behind the tree:
if i'm only allowed one "tree" shot, this would be the one...this time we are facing east, view of the entire tree, yes, i did try to get my shadow in there, too:
finally, here is a close up of leaves and an olive with my son swinging in the tree:
thanks julie for a fun assignment! looking forward to seeing everyone's trees and shooting this one again later...now go check out her blog!
"it is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end"--hemingway
...random experiences, observations and thoughts of my daily life as mommy...past journeys and dreams of journeys yet to be taken creating my life story as i go...
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
day 17 blog 18 "shaken and baken" home from the beach
three full days in the beach and we may be there again tomorrow for playgroup...loving it...exhausted from so much time in the sun...love this video of the two ones "shaken and baken" (what daddy calls dancing and singing) to old school music in their car seats on the way home from the beach...sun streaming through the windows...everyone singing so loudly they can't hear one another or when they are out of tune (me)...but having a blast nonetheless...
Saturday, August 29, 2009
day 16 blog 17 flower child
i swear i have so much on my mind right now i can't decide what to write about...so this will truly be a "free association" if ever my writing style embodies that idea (check out my labels and i'm pretty sure i put that for most of my posts)...mainly i'm just really tired. should be in bed. but when my mind is racing and i want to be writing (or recently, blogging) i can't slow down my mind to sleep so i just get anxious or feel like i need to make lists of the ideas or things i should or want to do...
i'm rambling more than usual...feel like i drank too much caffeine only i actually had none today...am even trying to cut back on sugar...so one topic i hope to blog about soon is my health...i've started exercising (which is HUGE for me...never been a consistent or big part of my life). regularly. aerobically. so i feel something. and in the two weeks i've been doing this i've felt better. physically. emotionally. maybe even less tired. but that is a stretch. my first health intervention should be to get more sleep. next would be nutrition. overall i eat well but there are several food items i could really cut out. most of them are sugary.
oh yeah, the photo and blog title are "flower child"...that is where my free association began...i was raised in a conservative (religious and political) community with a lot of emphasis on appearances, material possessions, money, "success" etc. and i always felt misunderstood and like i didn't fit in. then in college one of my psychology professors made an off hand remark like "you really are a lost flower child at heart" and some time after that i started "finding" myself...making friends with more "hippy" types...i could do another blog on what i mean by that...my husband immediately thinks of drugs, but that isn't what i mean...heck, one of my friends (also one of my favorite blogs that i follow) has a blog called wannabehippie...i'll do a post on her one of these days...
but for now i wanted to go back to the flower child idea. free spirit. not caring what people think. living for higher ideals. searching for meaning. making a difference in the world. living with less. relishing in simple pleasures. getting in touch with the earth. going outside a lot (my exercising, by the way, has been taking long brisk walks, deep breathing and spurts of aerobic "jogging"). sun on my face. going to the beach (tomorrow will be the third day in the row...and i mean we have been going ALL day)...heck, we named our daughter "sea" and our son "story"...i have so many stories to tell of our life by the sea...i could have made my blog title something related to those two concepts only i started this blog before story was born. if we had had another girl we were going to name her elivia with the nickname "live"...not "liv" but the idea of living...
so i'm a flower child at heart. my daughter appears to be, too...i think we kinda look like one another in this photo. i can relate with her on a lot and am afraid to relate with her too much. afraid to project my hopes and create her in a way that doesn't allow her to truly be who she is. because i felt like the community i grew up in didn't allow me to be myself. didn't understand me. didn't encourage me to be different.
so my identity development and psychology background and over-analysis of life and my thesis on self-concept, meaning in life, integrity, happiness, life satisfaction, etc. are all topics for a future post...
for now i just want to "be" in more moments with my family...literally pick daisies together and metaphorically skip through tulips (or literally if you have some...)...because my children are growing up so fast...
i'm rambling more than usual...feel like i drank too much caffeine only i actually had none today...am even trying to cut back on sugar...so one topic i hope to blog about soon is my health...i've started exercising (which is HUGE for me...never been a consistent or big part of my life). regularly. aerobically. so i feel something. and in the two weeks i've been doing this i've felt better. physically. emotionally. maybe even less tired. but that is a stretch. my first health intervention should be to get more sleep. next would be nutrition. overall i eat well but there are several food items i could really cut out. most of them are sugary.
oh yeah, the photo and blog title are "flower child"...that is where my free association began...i was raised in a conservative (religious and political) community with a lot of emphasis on appearances, material possessions, money, "success" etc. and i always felt misunderstood and like i didn't fit in. then in college one of my psychology professors made an off hand remark like "you really are a lost flower child at heart" and some time after that i started "finding" myself...making friends with more "hippy" types...i could do another blog on what i mean by that...my husband immediately thinks of drugs, but that isn't what i mean...heck, one of my friends (also one of my favorite blogs that i follow) has a blog called wannabehippie...i'll do a post on her one of these days...
but for now i wanted to go back to the flower child idea. free spirit. not caring what people think. living for higher ideals. searching for meaning. making a difference in the world. living with less. relishing in simple pleasures. getting in touch with the earth. going outside a lot (my exercising, by the way, has been taking long brisk walks, deep breathing and spurts of aerobic "jogging"). sun on my face. going to the beach (tomorrow will be the third day in the row...and i mean we have been going ALL day)...heck, we named our daughter "sea" and our son "story"...i have so many stories to tell of our life by the sea...i could have made my blog title something related to those two concepts only i started this blog before story was born. if we had had another girl we were going to name her elivia with the nickname "live"...not "liv" but the idea of living...
so i'm a flower child at heart. my daughter appears to be, too...i think we kinda look like one another in this photo. i can relate with her on a lot and am afraid to relate with her too much. afraid to project my hopes and create her in a way that doesn't allow her to truly be who she is. because i felt like the community i grew up in didn't allow me to be myself. didn't understand me. didn't encourage me to be different.
so my identity development and psychology background and over-analysis of life and my thesis on self-concept, meaning in life, integrity, happiness, life satisfaction, etc. are all topics for a future post...
for now i just want to "be" in more moments with my family...literally pick daisies together and metaphorically skip through tulips (or literally if you have some...)...because my children are growing up so fast...
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day 15 blog 16 sea dancing the hula
manuel surprised us and took the day off...so we spent all day at la jolla shores beach. going to the beach all day tomorrow and sunday, too...so i'm just uploading a cute video of sea and story dancing...sea starts out with some hula moves...when she leaves she comes back with a drum...ends with some hugs between them...
Thursday, August 27, 2009
day 14 blog 15 "two ones"
umm...this was a mobile photo uploaded to my mom's pc...i miss my mac...i don't know how to make it bigger? hopefully once i get home tomorrow...anyway, it has been over 100 degrees here the past few days and i've been spoiled by san diego weather where 80 degrees is hot...this means my "two ones" as manuel sometimes calls them, have been nursing out of control to stay hydrated. which means even though i was wedged between them and am usually able to sleep in tight quarters otherwise, i couldn't sleep with them competing to nurse...so i'm up. not sure what to do with my time alone. i fantasize about that perfect cup of tea, early morning hours with the sun just coming up, getting in some yoga, reading a good book, writing something meaningful, putting together photo albums of the 50,000 some odd digital photos i need to organize, delete and print...or really just being in my own breath...so that is what i'm doing. if i was at home maybe i would be more productive. but probably not. i don't have a problem with delaying gratification...i suppose i may have the opposite problem? but for now i'm ok with it as i feel at peace and love my "two ones" more than words can find themselves onto this page...
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
day 13 blog 14 looking for the positives
i'm really feeling bummed about no photos to support this post...i'm visiting my mom and sister until tomorrow...but i figure i'll keep promoting more of my friend's blogs that i follow regularly...like carrie frederick's blog. she has submitted writings to various magazines and recently started a blog about her own journeys as a stay-at-home mom. we share a LOT of experiences (she has two boys...one 3...a year younger than sea...and one almost exactly the same age as story...around 1.5) only she is much more clever in her writing style. she totally cracks me up almost every post i read. her latest post is "days like today" which i figured was struggles and instead was the bliss and ideals we could all only hope mommyhood could be regularly...i'm not sure if all these positives really happened in one day but i was both very jealous yet somehow motivated to look for them in my own life...i especially like the part about everyone going to the restroom where they were supposed to all day long as i embark on potty training story...
i had to add one more thing to this post...carrie is co-hosting "loriepalooza" a take-off of lollapalooza (a music festival i attended through most of the 90's along with carrie and other collegiate napa valley friends...interested to learn it was revived in 2003) which is appropriately a celebration of the life of our dear friend lorie who tragically lost her life to a burst blood clot to her brain at age 30 something (check under my label "loss" to find more details from last sept/oct)...it will be a year since her death the weekend of this get together. if i can swing it, it will be wonderful to bring old friends together for an annual celebration of life and one another and missing lorie...carrie is just that sort of person to help make something like that happen...oh, and don't miss her flattering comment below...she really does make people feel wonderful about themselves and like they need more of her in their lives...thank you carrie...this post was meant to build up you!
i had to add one more thing to this post...carrie is co-hosting "loriepalooza" a take-off of lollapalooza (a music festival i attended through most of the 90's along with carrie and other collegiate napa valley friends...interested to learn it was revived in 2003) which is appropriately a celebration of the life of our dear friend lorie who tragically lost her life to a burst blood clot to her brain at age 30 something (check under my label "loss" to find more details from last sept/oct)...it will be a year since her death the weekend of this get together. if i can swing it, it will be wonderful to bring old friends together for an annual celebration of life and one another and missing lorie...carrie is just that sort of person to help make something like that happen...oh, and don't miss her flattering comment below...she really does make people feel wonderful about themselves and like they need more of her in their lives...thank you carrie...this post was meant to build up you!
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Tuesday, August 25, 2009
day 12 blog 13 balancing capturing life with experiencing it
i think this is an appropriate post to have no photo...one of the local san diego mommy blogs i follow, enviromama, recently addressed the topic of appreciating and experiencing life and moments with our children instead of trying to capture it on film or write about it...you should read her specific example of this...click on the link and then scroll down to the post "struggling to hold on"...she has a meaningful post about the pain of losing her dad and a fun and creative post about a fairy luncheon just before this post...of course i can relate with the loss of my own dad and the attempts to do creative things for our children...if you read through her past posts you'll see that she also believes in "attachment parenting"...she hasn't told me this herself nor used this term per se, but it is just sort of a general style of parenting i fell in to and many of my "hippie" type (minus the drugs....that is what my husband thinks of when i refer to myself as hippie) also adhere to...besides being very child focused, some of the other big principles that throw me in this category include extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping (we are all in one big family bed), and being health focused (in my case: vegetarian, we try to eat organic, grow our own garden, yoga, limited or spread out vaccines, etc). i really didn't mean to go off on that tangent, but thought about some of jen's values in her blog...
ADDED: today i reached in the back seat of my car for my ergo and realized i had thrown it in the wash before i left for my mom's house! how could i forget about the attachment parenting style of "baby wearing" or literally having small children attached to you...i use this particular wrap every day with story and it goes up to 65 lbs so sometimes i even carry sea in it...there are a lot of other great wraps out there i could promote (and used)...one of my close friends even makes them...so more on that another time..
anyway, check jen's site out...i'm going to promote a few more friend's blogs later this week...for now, i'm off to "be" with my children without capturing it in photos or writing about it...share your stories of doing the same!
ADDED: today i reached in the back seat of my car for my ergo and realized i had thrown it in the wash before i left for my mom's house! how could i forget about the attachment parenting style of "baby wearing" or literally having small children attached to you...i use this particular wrap every day with story and it goes up to 65 lbs so sometimes i even carry sea in it...there are a lot of other great wraps out there i could promote (and used)...one of my close friends even makes them...so more on that another time..
anyway, check jen's site out...i'm going to promote a few more friend's blogs later this week...for now, i'm off to "be" with my children without capturing it in photos or writing about it...share your stories of doing the same!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
day 10 blog 12 cousins visit
ok i feel like i should just post this first photo of the four cousins (ayva, will be 4 in oct, sea, just turned 4 in july, skye 6 1/2 and story 18 months)...they are holding two puppies...one got cut out of the photo but i didn't want to miss story's smile... as this photo alone pretty much summarizes how much they adore one another and how much fun sea and story had when they visited last week...but of course i took many more photos so instead of writing a long narrative i'll just include captions to explain each photo below:
dessert with skye and ayva...love how ayva keeps licking her cone throughout the shot...
"sleep over"...sea has been talking about this idea for a long time and wanted to sleep with the cousins but after they fell asleep she was still lying between them wide awake so she ended up back in our bed...
sea has a little game she likes to play with daddy called "hugging him so tightly that his tongue pops out"...so she was showing the cousins and daddy made the funny sound bobbing his head all around...
this photo is dark but i like how it shows the silhouette of story, skye and the puppy's faces...
skye really had her hands full trying to help story down slides...he just wanted to go by himself...
story loves water so much he has to play with drinking fountains...i really put this shot in to show you how bright red skye's hair is...i love it...
it was really hard for the cousins to say goodbye to each other...here sea is hugging skye while skye is crying...sea is saying "it's ok, skye, you don't have to cry; we'll see each other again soon"
one final reflective moment and hug farewell...also to show their matching braids...
thanks girls...we look forward to seeing you again soon...
dessert with skye and ayva...love how ayva keeps licking her cone throughout the shot...
"sleep over"...sea has been talking about this idea for a long time and wanted to sleep with the cousins but after they fell asleep she was still lying between them wide awake so she ended up back in our bed...
sea has a little game she likes to play with daddy called "hugging him so tightly that his tongue pops out"...so she was showing the cousins and daddy made the funny sound bobbing his head all around...
this photo is dark but i like how it shows the silhouette of story, skye and the puppy's faces...
skye really had her hands full trying to help story down slides...he just wanted to go by himself...
story loves water so much he has to play with drinking fountains...i really put this shot in to show you how bright red skye's hair is...i love it...
it was really hard for the cousins to say goodbye to each other...here sea is hugging skye while skye is crying...sea is saying "it's ok, skye, you don't have to cry; we'll see each other again soon"
one final reflective moment and hug farewell...also to show their matching braids...
thanks girls...we look forward to seeing you again soon...
day 10 blog 11 sister
this was one of the "tree" photos from my free association...my sister and i picking peaches with our parents in the desert somewhere near where i grew up...we used to do this annually and then my mom and dad would slice them and freeze them in orange juice or can them in jars and sometimes my dad would even dehydrate them...i would totally use that old dehydrator now as i love dried fruit...
anyway, i was almost blogging a blog a day (did a couple extras to cover myself) but then late last night when i was going to write a post i got an IM from my sister on facebook and we ended up chattting for almost an hour. about our lives, dreams, hopes, fears, dealing with the loss of our dad, me possibly going in to a grief support group (anyone have any suggestions of how to find a good one?)...
we even talked about our impressions of my dad the day he died. he apparently told my sister something on the phone about how happy my mom was and my sister felt like the comment was totally out of the blue...and i felt like even though we were showing some random relatives around san diego, that my dad's narration of my life was more for my benefit like "see what a wonderful life you have to focus on"...i remember thinking his narration was quite odd that day...i also felt like he was pulling away or distant or extra reflective in an unfamiliar way. at one point he headed back to the car alone and later i remember telling my mom i think he may have thought he was going to die then and didn't want her to be present. i feel somewhat abandoned and sad that he didn't say goodbye in some small way but i think his focus on the present and future and how happy and good our lives are was his way of being that strong, optimistic support even as he was leaving us. it would have been too hard for him to leave with us so upset. i still have a lot of irrational guilt and remorse for not connecting more with him that day...just one tight hug or even squeezing his hand...
but that was not going to be the focus of this post. i actually wanted to just say how nice it was to talk with my sister and i'm glad i had that closeness instead of trying to squeeze in my daily post. one other free association on the topic of "sister"...when we were children, one of my dad's former clients' daughters used to refer to one another as "sister" instead of by their names...so my sister and i started doing that sort of to make fun of them and it is an endearing thing we still do sometimes...sea often calls story "brudder" and i know i will be really sad the day she can pronounce that properly...but that is a small memory growing up with my sister...
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Saturday, August 22, 2009
day 8 blog 10 trees
these trees are along the bay at seaport village here in san diego...you can see the kites flying in the background; often a windy and popular spot...
i am passionate about art...and photography...and writing...and a challenge that involves my values...i've always had a certain connection with trees...started going through my digital photos to find one symbolic for this idea...not even my ideal tree for the challenge, just one to introduce the idea...i have like 15 and they still don't cover enough of the trees that have been really meaningful to me at different times in my life...so before i start free associating on all that, i should give you some reference point.
my friend (and neighbor), julie, recently inspired me to start blogging regularly again. she is what i call a power blogger and has a lot of people who follow/comment on her blog and though i am not striving for that status, i really wanted to be regularly updating my own blog so i decided to challenge myself to blog every day...well i'm just over 1 week in and it has been pretty easy. i've been wanting to write a post about julie and wasn't sure where exactly i was going to go with it...then i read her post from today and felt really inspired...actually started idealizing the project...do click over and read in her words what i'm talking about (and she has an awesome, creative art focused blog)...basically she is challenging her readers to take a photo of one tree three different times during the year and she will post the links to follow the different trees. i haven't even figured out which tree i want to photograph and i'm already free associating to all the trees in my life and which ones i have photos of and, well, it is late and i told manuel i'd come to bed in 20 minutes so i am going to try and wrap this up and do a follow-up blog with lots of different tree photos...
just off the top of my head, these trees may or may not include an apricrot tree my parents planted in our yard right after i was born, a eucaplytus tree i used to climb in our yard, a jacarunda tree whose purple blooms remind me of my childhood home, peach trees i used to climb with my sister when our family went peach picking, dense lush green trees in virginia where my dad grew up and we visited once a year growing up, several different types of trees i spent time under, around, etc. in college in the napa valley (one of which was the place where manuel proposed to me), tropical trees on our honeymoon in the cook islands, the tree my dad is buried under, the tree out in front of our home that a mommy dove built a nest in (the babies just left the nest today and if i had gotten better photos i would have posted about them)...ok i'd rather have photos than descriptions so hopefully there will be a follow-up post...i should warn you we are spending all day tomorrow and sunday at the beach again so this follow-up may be on monday...
do visit julie's blog and consider joining her challenge or at least free associate with me back to the meaning different trees have had in your life...
i am passionate about art...and photography...and writing...and a challenge that involves my values...i've always had a certain connection with trees...started going through my digital photos to find one symbolic for this idea...not even my ideal tree for the challenge, just one to introduce the idea...i have like 15 and they still don't cover enough of the trees that have been really meaningful to me at different times in my life...so before i start free associating on all that, i should give you some reference point.
my friend (and neighbor), julie, recently inspired me to start blogging regularly again. she is what i call a power blogger and has a lot of people who follow/comment on her blog and though i am not striving for that status, i really wanted to be regularly updating my own blog so i decided to challenge myself to blog every day...well i'm just over 1 week in and it has been pretty easy. i've been wanting to write a post about julie and wasn't sure where exactly i was going to go with it...then i read her post from today and felt really inspired...actually started idealizing the project...do click over and read in her words what i'm talking about (and she has an awesome, creative art focused blog)...basically she is challenging her readers to take a photo of one tree three different times during the year and she will post the links to follow the different trees. i haven't even figured out which tree i want to photograph and i'm already free associating to all the trees in my life and which ones i have photos of and, well, it is late and i told manuel i'd come to bed in 20 minutes so i am going to try and wrap this up and do a follow-up blog with lots of different tree photos...
just off the top of my head, these trees may or may not include an apricrot tree my parents planted in our yard right after i was born, a eucaplytus tree i used to climb in our yard, a jacarunda tree whose purple blooms remind me of my childhood home, peach trees i used to climb with my sister when our family went peach picking, dense lush green trees in virginia where my dad grew up and we visited once a year growing up, several different types of trees i spent time under, around, etc. in college in the napa valley (one of which was the place where manuel proposed to me), tropical trees on our honeymoon in the cook islands, the tree my dad is buried under, the tree out in front of our home that a mommy dove built a nest in (the babies just left the nest today and if i had gotten better photos i would have posted about them)...ok i'd rather have photos than descriptions so hopefully there will be a follow-up post...i should warn you we are spending all day tomorrow and sunday at the beach again so this follow-up may be on monday...
do visit julie's blog and consider joining her challenge or at least free associate with me back to the meaning different trees have had in your life...
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Thursday, August 20, 2009
day 7 blog 9 new markers
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
day 6 blog 8 belated happy anniversary mom and dad
this photo was taken in front of my cousin dave's house in redlands...about a year before my dad passed away. i like it because he is wearing a dopey hat...proudly...and he looks happy as always...i miss him so much..."too much" as sea would say, only that is an understatement. yesterday would have been my parents' 41st wedding anniversary. i called my mom to tell her i was thinking of her, but per usual she was working to forget and we weren't in the same place emotionally...i know i don't love my dad more if i cry longer, harder, weep to the point of being detached from my family...i know that psychologically or logically or whatever but i feel so much pain still i don't know what to do. i really should get grief couseling so i can "move on"...don't get me wrong, i have periods of elation where i'm not focused on the pain of his absence...overall i have a wonderful life...i even wrote a facebook status update just a few days ago:
"i am lying on the beach with story asleep on top of me...sea playing in the sand...daddy relaxing in a beach chair...I love our life..."
so i'm not meaning to be so self-absorbed and depressive...that is just where i'm at in this moment. the cousins just went home, sea just got over her sadness from their departure and she is playing happily by herself while story naps. i want nothing more than to go snuggle up by story and go to sleep (wish sea would join us but she gave up naps around age 2)...but the house is in shambles and i know i would feel better about myself if it were clean...i'd also feel better about myself if i ate less sugar, drank less caffeine, exercised, and went to bed at a good time...so many things on my self-improvement list. when i care more about that list (i have actually exercised for 3 days in a row now) i will post more on that topic...
i generally like to conclude with some little diddy to hang on...for myself or for some reader or something clever or something to think about...but i don't have any right now...thanks for staying with me through the gray sky days...now to just remind myself it is actually sunny here...and almost always is, for that matter...my dad would say just the right thing...i need to find the strength to find that positive "silver lining" perspective he always had...
"i am lying on the beach with story asleep on top of me...sea playing in the sand...daddy relaxing in a beach chair...I love our life..."
so i'm not meaning to be so self-absorbed and depressive...that is just where i'm at in this moment. the cousins just went home, sea just got over her sadness from their departure and she is playing happily by herself while story naps. i want nothing more than to go snuggle up by story and go to sleep (wish sea would join us but she gave up naps around age 2)...but the house is in shambles and i know i would feel better about myself if it were clean...i'd also feel better about myself if i ate less sugar, drank less caffeine, exercised, and went to bed at a good time...so many things on my self-improvement list. when i care more about that list (i have actually exercised for 3 days in a row now) i will post more on that topic...
i generally like to conclude with some little diddy to hang on...for myself or for some reader or something clever or something to think about...but i don't have any right now...thanks for staying with me through the gray sky days...now to just remind myself it is actually sunny here...and almost always is, for that matter...my dad would say just the right thing...i need to find the strength to find that positive "silver lining" perspective he always had...
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Tuesday, August 18, 2009
day 5 blog 7 too many balls in the air
i love this delighted mischievous grin on story's face after he and his sister threw 100 plastic balls all over the front room...who buys these sorts of toys for children? people without children of their own...or maybe someone who saw how happy it makes children to make just this sort of mess...i need to focus on the positives...anyway, i thought this was an appropriate visual metaphor for something i am constantly struggling with...juggling too many "balls" in the air...i could give you the specifics today but i don't have time...ha! really, my in-laws are on the way with the 4 and 6.5-year-old cousins so i may not blog until tomorrow night...
one other idea i wanted to share...i got out these balls yesterday so sea and story would be occupied while i tried to complete some project...i was thinking how i often create larger messes for myself in the process of trying to clean up a smaller mess? there must be a better balance out there somewhere...how do you keep your children happy without too much mess and still have time to get projects done? life as a stay-at-home mom i guess...
well, enjoy the photo of my mess and hopefully you don't have too many messes of your own...
one other idea i wanted to share...i got out these balls yesterday so sea and story would be occupied while i tried to complete some project...i was thinking how i often create larger messes for myself in the process of trying to clean up a smaller mess? there must be a better balance out there somewhere...how do you keep your children happy without too much mess and still have time to get projects done? life as a stay-at-home mom i guess...
well, enjoy the photo of my mess and hopefully you don't have too many messes of your own...
Monday, August 17, 2009
day 4 blog 6 "i have lots of stories in my head"
this morning, out of the blue, sea told me "mommy, i have a lot of stories in my head" and i realized i haven't been making enough time to hear them...too worried about all of the stories in my own head...so i thought i would pull up a video i remembered taking of sea "reading" her own version of the cat in the hat...i walked in when she said almost word for word "so all we could do was SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! and we did not like it. not one little bit..." but by the time i got the video camera out she was improvising about not wanting the cat in the hat in the house...i tried to stage her reading this but her own version and reading on her own without knowing i was going to film her turned out better...off to hear more of her stories...
Labels:
balance,
books,
free association,
little things,
living,
parenting,
sea
Sunday, August 16, 2009
day 3 blog 5 all day at the beach
Friday, August 14, 2009
day 2 blog 4 blogging questions and grace
minutes after sea met story for the first time...she is angry and hurt...confused about sharing her world with a new little brother. i am exhausted before i even realize the full meaning of the word but ecstatic at the same time...i got the natural birth i hoped for but more importantly have two healthy children who i love more than i am able to express in words and if i were to try and express this love in actions they would be squeezed to their demise...
so i have loads and loads of material to write about and never enough time. i am happy that i choose to live life and be in the moment with my children when they are awake but i am constantly tired and with this new commitment to blog every day until the end of the year, well...i'm looking for shortcuts. i need to do an entire post on my blogging identity...why i blog, where this blog is leading me, what i've gotten from other bloggers and mommies and what i want to share...
but like i said, that will have to be another post. this post was supposed to be about blogging etiquette and i have a neighbor whose blog i will share (again, in another post) later who photocopied specific tips for me...specifically i am still really learning about my place in cyberspace and allowing others in, joining the community etc. but as many things in my mommy world, even my original intent in this post has now changed...
i need to know how to do a few things if any of you power bloggers, or people who have blogged for awhile, or smart individuals who spent more time figuring these things out can comment to help me out:
1) how do i see how many people are following my blog? is this per post or just the blog in general? i really didn't want to care about this...i have had this blog for almost 2 years and never checked this because i don't want to have that information effect what/when/how i post but one of my power blogger friends asked me to check this before she tells others about my site so she can see how many people checked it out
2) how do i easily thank people for comments? sometimes i am sent to their blog, their profile or just more info about them but no e-mail address to quickly shout out a thanks...i would rather go to them than just comment beneath each comment
3) what are the pros/cons of following people publicly? i would like to let bloggers i follow know i am following them and beyond just commenting on posts i like i am happy to have my photo/profile under "followers" or something if i can figure that out...i just tried to add this to my blog but don't have any followers yet...do any of you use this/know a better way to let people know you appreciate their site?
4) what are things you love about blogging/your blog etc. have learned in the process that you would pass on to others new to blogging?
5) what are things that you would do differently? regret doing? advice you would give to avoid problems?
6) i have about 40 more questions that will have to wait because i'm losing my train of thought and consumed with the idea of grace and how i may run out of time to talk about it and i can find answers to these basic blogging questions later as grace is a much bigger issue...
anyway, a couple posts ago i was frustrated (and a little humored) with both children who could get in to so much trouble in such a short amount of time...after typing up a very quick post on what i thought would get most readers to chuckle or feel just a wee bit sorry for me, instead a blogger i do not know (will have to ask her how she found me) named amanda commented something like "you are more than blessed"...recently my power blogger friend was telling me how you can link back to people who comment and so i clicked on amanda's name trying to learn more about her...i love her blog in general and could comment more on that later, too, but specifically i wanted to leave you with a link to a post she did on grace because i really think i could use a different perspective in my approach to parenting...especially when i'm frustrated.
so bring on your comments and suggestions and regrets and take the extra moment to check out a post on grace...especially if you find yourself easily frustrated with your children...i definitely need to focus on appreciating them more and remember that i AM more than blessed...
so i have loads and loads of material to write about and never enough time. i am happy that i choose to live life and be in the moment with my children when they are awake but i am constantly tired and with this new commitment to blog every day until the end of the year, well...i'm looking for shortcuts. i need to do an entire post on my blogging identity...why i blog, where this blog is leading me, what i've gotten from other bloggers and mommies and what i want to share...
but like i said, that will have to be another post. this post was supposed to be about blogging etiquette and i have a neighbor whose blog i will share (again, in another post) later who photocopied specific tips for me...specifically i am still really learning about my place in cyberspace and allowing others in, joining the community etc. but as many things in my mommy world, even my original intent in this post has now changed...
i need to know how to do a few things if any of you power bloggers, or people who have blogged for awhile, or smart individuals who spent more time figuring these things out can comment to help me out:
1) how do i see how many people are following my blog? is this per post or just the blog in general? i really didn't want to care about this...i have had this blog for almost 2 years and never checked this because i don't want to have that information effect what/when/how i post but one of my power blogger friends asked me to check this before she tells others about my site so she can see how many people checked it out
2) how do i easily thank people for comments? sometimes i am sent to their blog, their profile or just more info about them but no e-mail address to quickly shout out a thanks...i would rather go to them than just comment beneath each comment
3) what are the pros/cons of following people publicly? i would like to let bloggers i follow know i am following them and beyond just commenting on posts i like i am happy to have my photo/profile under "followers" or something if i can figure that out...i just tried to add this to my blog but don't have any followers yet...do any of you use this/know a better way to let people know you appreciate their site?
4) what are things you love about blogging/your blog etc. have learned in the process that you would pass on to others new to blogging?
5) what are things that you would do differently? regret doing? advice you would give to avoid problems?
6) i have about 40 more questions that will have to wait because i'm losing my train of thought and consumed with the idea of grace and how i may run out of time to talk about it and i can find answers to these basic blogging questions later as grace is a much bigger issue...
anyway, a couple posts ago i was frustrated (and a little humored) with both children who could get in to so much trouble in such a short amount of time...after typing up a very quick post on what i thought would get most readers to chuckle or feel just a wee bit sorry for me, instead a blogger i do not know (will have to ask her how she found me) named amanda commented something like "you are more than blessed"...recently my power blogger friend was telling me how you can link back to people who comment and so i clicked on amanda's name trying to learn more about her...i love her blog in general and could comment more on that later, too, but specifically i wanted to leave you with a link to a post she did on grace because i really think i could use a different perspective in my approach to parenting...especially when i'm frustrated.
so bring on your comments and suggestions and regrets and take the extra moment to check out a post on grace...especially if you find yourself easily frustrated with your children...i definitely need to focus on appreciating them more and remember that i AM more than blessed...
day 2 blog 3 "hot" little things
sea somewhere around story's current age...this post is supposed to be about him but i have no photo to document the idea...he has recently been trying to say "hot" while simultaneously blowing (usually on hot food) but the other night we were stepping in to a bath together and i said "careful, story it is 'hot, hot'" and he made this same face and started helping me blow to cool the water down..."haw-haw"...
later i hope to post about my labels and what labels seem to say about me or other blogs i've read...think about it so you can comment or note your own labels...
for now, friday is supposed to be my "clean out the fridge, gather all trash, clean the house, do the laundry and wash the car" day and i think i've only taken out some trash so i'm feeling guilty i even let myself on the computer...guess it is because sea and story are playing nicely together and i decided to go with it...
another later post about flexibility/going with the flow/adaptation/change of plans necessary in parenting...
i will continue to write down "little things" (sea and storyisms) and include that in the label...i hear screaming so i think i've taken the playing nicely for granted....
later i hope to post about my labels and what labels seem to say about me or other blogs i've read...think about it so you can comment or note your own labels...
for now, friday is supposed to be my "clean out the fridge, gather all trash, clean the house, do the laundry and wash the car" day and i think i've only taken out some trash so i'm feeling guilty i even let myself on the computer...guess it is because sea and story are playing nicely together and i decided to go with it...
another later post about flexibility/going with the flow/adaptation/change of plans necessary in parenting...
i will continue to write down "little things" (sea and storyisms) and include that in the label...i hear screaming so i think i've taken the playing nicely for granted....
Labels:
balance,
free association,
lists,
little things,
parenting,
procrastination,
sea,
story
Thursday, August 13, 2009
day 1 blog 2 woes of a spirited child
i swear i will have no lack of material if i opt to focus on the woes of raising a spirited child...in fact, i was thinking i should just try and have free time (i.e. write this blog) while letting the children entertain themselves...as an example, the following literally happened within a couple of minutes of signing back on:
(i'm cheating by posting an old photo of story covered in food...but this will help you visualize part of my list)
sea bit story. hard. broke skin with a little blood and left deep teeth marks.
sea poured story's lemonade on his head (sprinkling it out of his sippy cup).
sea smeared story's over-ripe apricot all over his face like the work he did himself in this photo.
story found frozen peas in the freezer (that he opened himself) and poured them all over the floor.
i'm glancing over while both children are happily eating peas off the floor (to which i am grateful) and while waiting patiently for more material sea instead sings a pleasant little made-up song like nothing ever happened...story is opening the freezer again so these two minutes are all i can post for now...
p.s. did i mention story's latest word is a dramatic "UH-oh..." to which he gets a lot of practice...
here he is waving goodbye:
"help mama, story is eating ice cream..."
day 1 blog 1 blogging challenge
blogging makes me feel alive...chronicling my life generally...a live and more active combination of a daily journal (which i've kept since 3rd grade...regularly since junior high) and family photo albums...except when i haven't blogged in a long time and then i feel guilty, sad, a sense of loss, missed opportunities; like the memories somehow aren't there anymore...
i began this blogging journey back in the day with a post about "blank pages"...explaining how ever since i started keeping a journal i would leave space to fill in missed information or go back to ideas i wanted to elaborate on...more often than not there is more blank space in my journals than writing...in this instance i feel like i should have an entire blank journal to fill in all that i've missed blogging about in the past few months...
so i'm challenging myself to blog every day until...well, no untils...possibly until the end of the year? in fact i'm thinking of making this a challenge to all my blogging friends (or friends who just started blogging) to see how far each of us can go with it...but i want it to be more like a contest with the prize being all participants will post an entry about the winner? so that way we will be motivated to get more readers?
so i will start each blog from now on with the day and the blog # (i'm hoping to do more than 1 blog a day sometimes) and as long as there are more blog numbers than days i will consider myself caught up with the blog a day challenge...i'm hoping to invite other blogging friends to join this challenge and will figure out if there will be a prize or just the satisfaction of regular blogging will be prize enough? i do want to blog about blogging advice i've received (and i'm open to hearing your comments on how to improve my blog or my blogging experience)...and about redefining my identity (an ongoing issue for me)...and maybe even catch friends up on my life (hawaii, sea's birthday, days at the beach, coop preschool...are the big ones that come to mind)...and maybe a blog about why i blog at all? i don't make money doing it...i'm not trying to promote anything...much to think about...
this photo doesn't have too much to do with this "first" blog in the series...but this blog is about my journey as a mommy so an endearing family photo (appropriately a little blurry) taken at the end of a very long day at the beach for sea's 4th birthday seems like as good as any to jumpstart what i hope will be a fun journey to keep up on writing...hopefully it will make for enjoyable reading, too...i look forward to pairing this commitment to blogging regularly with keeping up on your blogs, learning from your journeys and sharing the experiences with one another...
i began this blogging journey back in the day with a post about "blank pages"...explaining how ever since i started keeping a journal i would leave space to fill in missed information or go back to ideas i wanted to elaborate on...more often than not there is more blank space in my journals than writing...in this instance i feel like i should have an entire blank journal to fill in all that i've missed blogging about in the past few months...
so i'm challenging myself to blog every day until...well, no untils...possibly until the end of the year? in fact i'm thinking of making this a challenge to all my blogging friends (or friends who just started blogging) to see how far each of us can go with it...but i want it to be more like a contest with the prize being all participants will post an entry about the winner? so that way we will be motivated to get more readers?
so i will start each blog from now on with the day and the blog # (i'm hoping to do more than 1 blog a day sometimes) and as long as there are more blog numbers than days i will consider myself caught up with the blog a day challenge...i'm hoping to invite other blogging friends to join this challenge and will figure out if there will be a prize or just the satisfaction of regular blogging will be prize enough? i do want to blog about blogging advice i've received (and i'm open to hearing your comments on how to improve my blog or my blogging experience)...and about redefining my identity (an ongoing issue for me)...and maybe even catch friends up on my life (hawaii, sea's birthday, days at the beach, coop preschool...are the big ones that come to mind)...and maybe a blog about why i blog at all? i don't make money doing it...i'm not trying to promote anything...much to think about...
this photo doesn't have too much to do with this "first" blog in the series...but this blog is about my journey as a mommy so an endearing family photo (appropriately a little blurry) taken at the end of a very long day at the beach for sea's 4th birthday seems like as good as any to jumpstart what i hope will be a fun journey to keep up on writing...hopefully it will make for enjoyable reading, too...i look forward to pairing this commitment to blogging regularly with keeping up on your blogs, learning from your journeys and sharing the experiences with one another...
Labels:
advice,
birthday,
blank pages,
commitment,
free association,
ideals,
living,
memories,
sea,
thesis,
time,
writing
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