Wednesday, February 15, 2012
memories from heart day
Friday, February 3, 2012
judgments of (and by) a SAHM and raising spirited children
it has been nearly a month since i've posted. many reasons for this...one of the reasons i've put off writing is because it has been so long i feel i need a good reintroduction or something important to write about or a summary of what i've done while i was away from this blog or a complete overhaul of my issues i have, etc. etc. disclaimers i often have when something is important. but writing for writing sake is important to me, too and i've had this story or frustration or embarrassment hanging over me for almost 24 hours and even though i'm supposed to stop writing in four minutes to get sea ready for school (i didn't hit snooze this morning...i shut my alarm off because it felt like i hadn't even gone to bed yet) i felt compelled to see if my blog was even here anymore :) i'm not even joking...i'm paranoid enough to sense this non-backed up blog could just vanish any day...i can tell this post is going to be all over the place...I am all over the place so i suppose that is fitting...
anyway, what happened yesterday is one of the head office workers at my daughter's school pulled me aside to talk to me about my out of control 3-year-old and how they can't be responsible for him on campus and he is disruptive, etc. judgments about my lack of control over him/poor parenting etc. and i immediately felt defensive and embarrassed all the while knowing parts of what she was saying were true...but i'm a BIG PICTURE person who believes you can't judge people unless you have the full context of any given situation, know them from the inside (live their life), etc. plus i do SO MUCH for that school that i feel they should overlook some of these things...
that is the nutshell version of what happened and as i type it i feel like i'm already past it and ready to contain him better (actually going to have him attached to my body in an ergo wrap as often as possible until this blows over) but what i suppose i'm not past is how quickly i became judgmental of this woman and the school and my judgers and made all sorts of assumptions about how their children have been in child care since they were a couple months old and so with someone else raising their children they have time to notice the troubles of others...these same people are not doing half the things i am to help the school but yet i'm the one being criticized...maybe it is a good thing as i need to say no to more and now i'm being told i can't bring him so therefore i can't help as much? i'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this scenario and how i will react and what that means for my involvement at the school...which is a big issue because i have been really involved as of late...and now i'm running late to get sea to school which means i'll be short on time to contain story in said wrap so more later...
anyway, what happened yesterday is one of the head office workers at my daughter's school pulled me aside to talk to me about my out of control 3-year-old and how they can't be responsible for him on campus and he is disruptive, etc. judgments about my lack of control over him/poor parenting etc. and i immediately felt defensive and embarrassed all the while knowing parts of what she was saying were true...but i'm a BIG PICTURE person who believes you can't judge people unless you have the full context of any given situation, know them from the inside (live their life), etc. plus i do SO MUCH for that school that i feel they should overlook some of these things...
that is the nutshell version of what happened and as i type it i feel like i'm already past it and ready to contain him better (actually going to have him attached to my body in an ergo wrap as often as possible until this blows over) but what i suppose i'm not past is how quickly i became judgmental of this woman and the school and my judgers and made all sorts of assumptions about how their children have been in child care since they were a couple months old and so with someone else raising their children they have time to notice the troubles of others...these same people are not doing half the things i am to help the school but yet i'm the one being criticized...maybe it is a good thing as i need to say no to more and now i'm being told i can't bring him so therefore i can't help as much? i'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this scenario and how i will react and what that means for my involvement at the school...which is a big issue because i have been really involved as of late...and now i'm running late to get sea to school which means i'll be short on time to contain story in said wrap so more later...
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