this picture doesn't have the spider, the spider web, or me with my daughter sea. but it does show her innocence and lovely sweet smile and really i just wanted to get this story down while i have a couple minutes free this morning and everyone is asleep.i always felt misunderstood as a child. many times as an adult. i felt i was a good person with good intentions that were missed by many. i believe sea marches to her own drummer and may have this experience in life, too. hopefully she has also been blessed with more self-confidence and unconditional acceptance than i had...
so here is the story...about a week ago i saw sea hurling a rock through a large spider web right outside out front door. i immediately felt angry and even made knee jerk assumptions about sea's character (fortunately these remained in my head and i didn't say she was a "mean" girl)...i did say "why would you do that?! why would you hurt a spider? don't you remember charlotte? she spent so long spinning her web..."
there was really no response from sea...i believe she even shrugged like "oh, well" and with that response i made even worse judgments about her character and assumptions of apathy, lack of feeling, etc...
yesterday as we were walking under this web she remarked "oh good, there are a few holes in the web" and so i said "why?" to which she replied "so some of the bugs can escape"
i feel like crying as i write this. such a small story. such a small example. and even such a small bug. but so symbolic! this is the sort of thing i got misunderstood about because most people don't take the time to make holes in webs so some of the bugs can live!
i adore my sweet daughter and hope to work harder at assuming her intentions are good and her sweet soul, with its human flaws is doing the best she can...
