living or remembering

my signature is "live"...a constant reminder to do just that...i tend to spend more time recording life in some way...usually photos or journaling or even just analyzing what has happened, what will happen...but i really want to dedicate to being in the moment and LIVING...experiencing at the expense of forgetting if necessary. this morning my contractions have slowed down so i can just BE...listen to sea explain the bandaid she made out of peanut butter, sing about the rain drops falling with a "pitter, pitter, pat..."...noticing the trains calling in the distance ...journeying somewhere...i am on this journey...

i'm off to experience it...

last moments alone with sea

this title sounds so dramatic but in many ways it is the predominant thing on my mind right now...i feel like the details of the birth (baby #2 due feb 28) and the adjustment period afterwards will work themselves out but what i can't wrap my mind around is no longer having "just sea"...we've carved out such a nice life for ourselves...staying home with her through 2 1/2 years of life discoveries...i adore her and she reminds me often "i wuv you mommy"...i love snuggling with her, smelling her hair while she sleeps, watching her entertain herself, listening to her make up songs and sing about her daily life, role play with dollies, discover leaves and bugs...i'm going to have to leave myself hanging on this one because i'm having so many braxton hicks contractions...so more on this idea later...

lists

my journals have become mainly pages of lists...from groceries to daily "to do" to "eventual to do" to life goals and self-enrichment ideas. i'm hoping this blog will help me get down more of the daily stuff down...i think i purposefully started blogging towards the end of january to avoid the new year's resolution list...if i posted that i might have to take responsibility for following through! for now that list is lost in some journal i've moved past...

now my lists are all about baby #2...preparing for labor and the actual birth, having all the "stuff" we need, preparing mentally, trying to prepare sea, what to pack for the hospital, what to do before i REALLY don't have any free time, and how to maximize time with sea...more on this in my next post...

so i'm trying to get enough down for people to start following along and advising me on all these things...just writing about it helps me a lot...i can get the ideas out of my head to make room for more things to worry about...

no really, i'm calling all you mommies...(and daddies and friends and everyone else who may have been given this link) to offer suggestions or your favorite tips for transitioning from a daily routine that is familiar and that you love to the unknown with two children and a "family".

i'd also love your predictions about baby #2 as we are excited to be surprised...when do you think the baby will arrive? boy or girl? weight/length? what will he/she look like? will he/she have a spirited social personality like sea? send me these predictions so i can compile just one more list i'm not sure what to do with...i'll post the actual details after baby #2 arrives...

blank pages

ok so this is my first post so you have no baseline and neither do i...this has been quite intimidating and prevented me from beginning this journey...which is when i have to remind myself i am already ON the journey and have much behind me...the goal is to stay in the present and over time capture the past and future as well...

i always leave blank pages in the beginning of any journal i write in...symbolically telling myself i have more to say, am leaving out much...but if i just start getting something down i can overcome the fear that i've left out everything and over time the small things will piece together to form the important things...or maybe the small things are the important things...

as i'm typing this i'm already asking myself if i have the option to go back and "edit" once posted...of course i never thought of this when journaling so i'm going to have to treat this blog like the journal it is and be ok with less than perfect, less than everything...

this online journal is for me, about me, for my family, for my friends....appropriately sea is calling me..."mommy!"...wondering why i'm not in bed....so this is a good stopping point...